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17 Reasons White People Riot

Pumpkins, disco, surfing. No, really.

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1. Their sports team wins.

2. Their sports team loses.

3. Their sports coach leaves to coach another team.

4. They were asked not to party.

5. Black Friday.

6. Pumpkins.

7. Straw hats.

8. No more beer.

9. No more Cabbage Patch Dolls.

10. Woodstock '99.

11. Spring break wasn't fun enough.

12. They don't like disco anymore.

13. St. Patrick's Day.

14. A guy is fired for covering up child molestation.

15. Surfing.

16. Desegregation.

17. The prospering of another race.