The Handsomeness Of Michael B. Jordan And The Toll It Takes On The Female Mind, Body, And Soul - An Open Letter

The title says it all.

An Open Letter To Michael B. Jordan

Via google.com

Dear Michael B. Jordan,

You have some damn nerve. All the nerve to be clear.

Issue #1 - Your Face

Why are you so handsome? Were you a test tube baby created in a super high tech lab with the DNA of perfect humanlike specimens found on Mars? Don’t be creeped out, but I’ve studied your face intensely on several occasions and can not find one single flaw. No blemishes. No scars. Just handsomeness everywhere. Is it Maybelline? Is it cocoa butter? Women everywhere need to know.

Issue #2 - Your Smile

Not only are you hot, but when you smile all the fuckboy vibes I’m getting disappear and all that’s left standing in front of me is the future father of my child and husband-to-be. In our golden years, we will pass away within minutes of each other with our lips sealed in a kiss like a remixed, more ethnic version of The Notebook. Our sons and grandsons will have your smile, but my writing ability meaning they will be PLAYAS.

Issue #3 - Your Body

How tall are you? Does it matter? I assume you’re the perfect height for every woman in the world and probably some men. Creed almost killed me. All those shirtless, sweaty workout montages. Even when you were fully clothed I seemed to have superhero x-ray abilities because in my head you were still shirtless. In every scene of every movie you have ever acted in you have been shirtless to me. You look good in nothing, you look good in spandex, you look good in sweats, and you look good in a suit. I bet you look good with me. Just saying.

Forever and always yours,

T