It's starting to freeze outside, we're on autopilot until the holidays, and we all just need a laugh right? Well here are 41 tiny smirk-inducing tweets that haven't left my head all week, enjoy:
1.
we should treat november and december like the weekend of the year. no work, no emails, maybe go to the zoo, up to you
2.
friend: come on it’s not even cold me:
3.
You either date Pete Davidson or have a baby with Nick Cannon. Those are the only two life paths for women
4.
My toxic trait is thinking wild animals would sense my kind spirit and leave me alone.
6.
wife wants to get the word "winefreak" tattooed, in the disney font. i told her she cannot join me in the kingdom of heaven if she does this
8.
the silly goose convention called, they asked if you could be their keynote speaker
9.
me when somebody hits my car: unfortunate but life goes on me when i hear somebody chewing food: im gonna make u go missing. ur family too. the dog even
10.
I love the reaction of cat lovers upon seeing a cat. Every single time the level of excitement is like they've read about cats for decades but never actually seen one in real life and they're SO EXCITED. Every. Single Time. Even if it's the hundredth cat they've seen that day.
11.
yeah I can bench press
13.
i bet there’s a couple seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible
14.
I had a dream that this happened and it was a very big deal so I wanted to share
15.
2000s movies would have a girl say “boys never look at me 😪” and then said girl would be played by megan fox
16.
this tiktok never leaves my mind
17.
can somebody explain october in the year 1582? time is not real.
18.
they hate to see a silly goose winning
19.
Friend: "Send me that picture we took last night, we probably look so good!" The picture:
20.
two TOTALLY DIFFERENT milks
21.
Every man will momentarily hesitate when scheduling a haircut because deep down he feels that if he grows it out just a little longer, he can look exactly like Aragorn
22.
y’all be scared to post y’all spotify wrapped because ur afraid to let people know ur a fan of the Hamilton soundtrack. Tell the full story.
24.
if your girlfriend makes more money than you with a stay at home job but you still work outside of the house then you're sort of an outdoor cat bf
25.
Visiting a friend in Manhattan
26.
chicken nuggest
27.
sexiest thing anyone has ever done to me is send over a single overeasy egg to my table at ihop in 2014. never knew who it was. fucks me up to think about it
28.
biscuits and gravy fountain
29.
My job gave me this
30.
🎵hello darkness my old friend🎵
31.
The most unsuccessful sneak attack of all time.
32.
She got me yelling 😭😭😭😂😂
33.
im crying his body just flew away wtf😭
34.
The day the casino gets an uno table is the day I’ll start gambling
35.
Would definitely get your blood pumping waking up to that…😳🤣🦏🦮
36.
is this mitosis?
37.
actually my favorite day on twitter was the day that Elmo's vendetta with Rocky was the main story
38.
I can't explain the energy on Twitter these days with words but it's this.
39.
So close, yet so far...
40.
Leave Twitter just because it’s lacking infrastructure and is terribly understaffed? Babe, I’m a public school teacher 😅
41.
We are cringe. But we are free.