Another long week is done! Here are 30 hilarious tweets to get the weekend started right:
1.
“Do you know anything about ‘Don’t Worry Darling?’” — my mom, reading me the movie listings this morning at the start of what she assumed would be a brief phone call.
2.
correct use of disposable income, no notes
3.
"what are your career goals?" just, like, having better posture
4.
"Can we reschedule?" YES GOD YES PLEASE YES WOOHOO
5.
Beagle puppies rescued from a medical testing facility got to meet Snoopy. (OC)
6.
happy first day of fall we are officially entering damn jackie weather
7.
My mom making me come say hi to somebody I “knew” as a baby
8.
the “devil’s lettuce” is coleslaw not weed
9.
Me at any social gathering
10.
oh you hate "spooky season"? Well i love goth women. And i will do anything to make them happy. so how about that. october should be 100 days long
11.
it's the first day of fall, this is your sign to watch twilight today
12.
“i’ll let you know” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it
14.
This continues to be the greatest squirrel feeder ever
15.
Adult friendships be like “I miss you bro, let's hang out in November".
16.
Dog feeding other animals
17.
judge: do you swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth me: yes judge: who do you like me: omg dare
18.
This would be the craziest way to find out John Lennon is still alive https://t.co/e9bdoC1i9N
19.
Sorry I had to
20.
Baby are you okay? You've barely touched your Char-spookerie.
21.
When 2 groups of penguins meet on the road, they stop for a short exchange of information. When one of them moves in with the wrong group, a friend goes after him to bring him back🙂🐧🐧🐧
22.
Tonight's to-do list: -honk -shoo -honk -mimimimimi
23.
Deal 🤝
24.
I GOT IN!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 to the building, i was pushing for 10 minutes before I realized it said “pull”
25.
we must protect polkaroo at all costs
26.
Deep in my bones, I do not understand why the Great British Bake Off is in a tent.
27.
When you gotta kill campers at 8 but you’re competing on RuPaul’s Drag Race at 9
28.
The gap between “goth” and “clown” is so small… So fragile… This is why Batman wars with the Joker
29.
you’ve heard of elf on the shelf, but what about
30.
This Dad built his son a playhouse with an elevator and the baby's reaction is pure joy. 🎥 Imgur/Tourmalin