20 Things That'll Make You A Better Neighbor

Win everyone over by establishing a book-lending cupboard.

There's a Dutch proverb that says it's better to have a good neighbor than a distant friend, and that's pretty freakin' wise.

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The Netherlands even celebrates National Neighbors' Day on May 26, according to The Little Book of Lykke!

Take a cue from the Dutch and try some of these tricks to become the best neighbor on your block:

1. Actually introduce yourself.

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It only takes a quick: "I'm Tom, by the way. I just moved in with my boyfriend, Danny, and our new corgi puppy, Arthur." (OK, I don't actually have a new corgi puppy named Arthur yet BUT I CAN DREAM.) You don't have to go around introducing yourself to literally everyone in the building or neighborhood because...yikes...but it doesn't hurt to introduce yourself to the people who live nearest to you.

2. Create a directory for your street or building.

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Knock on your neighbors' doors and introduce yourself, or for those of us who are more introverted, drop a sign-up sheet in everyone's mailbox. Ask for names and contact information in case of any emergencies, and consider adding a questionnaire to help you get to know people better (including what skills and resources they bring to the neighborhood), then share it with anyone who wants to participate. You could ask questions like: What's your favorite book? How many languages do you speak? Would you babysit a pet or houseplant? Are you good with computers? Do you know how to change a tire? Would you shovel snow?

3. Get in the habit of saying hello when you cross paths.

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We've all been in that situation where the first time you see someone in your neighborhood or building, you enter shy mode, avert your eyes, and then every time you see them thereafter, you think, "Well, I already ignored them once — it would be way more awkward to say hello now." Avoid that vicious cycle and make an effort to greet people on the first occasion — a quick wave is totally fine if you don't want to chat — and then it can become a simple, friendly habit from there on out. Maybe it'll even build to a friendship!

4. Spend time on your front porch, front garden, or neighborhood benches.

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You'll never get to know your neighbors if you never see them, so use those public areas to open yourself up to conversation, and to bring a welcoming vibe to your neighborhood. People will feel more comfortable waving or saying hello if you quite literally present yourself to them, and this will also give your 'hood that old-school friendly feel.

5. Be mindful of their schedule.

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Does your neighbor work the night shift? Do they have little kids who nap? Are they seniors who go to bed early? While it's certainly a two-way street when it comes to neighbor relationships, make sure you do your part and be mindful of their schedule. Don't slam doors, shine bright lights, or go knocking at times that might disrupt something as crucial as a newborn sleep routine.

6. And tell them what's going on with yours, too.

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Going on vacation? Let them know a pet sitter will be coming by so they aren't alarmed if they see a strange person in the hallway. Starting a new shift at your job? Give them a heads-up that you'll in and out at odd hours. Basically, teach them your patterns and routine — and any changes to them — so they can look out for you, too.

7. Be considerate about any loud noises you, your pets, or your kids make.

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If you live in an apartment with downstairs neighbors, rolling out rugs or runners in the most trafficked areas of your home is the easiest way to muffle the sound of footsteps, especially if you're struttin' around in high heels or if you have pets. You can also sprinkle baking soda over squeaky floorboards and work it into the creases, and place some sound-absorbent plants around your home. There are lots of tricks that'll get the job done. And if you're not sure if you really are The Noisy Upstairs Neighbor — because, TBH, no one thinks they are — just ask!

8. Give your neighbors a heads-up before you throw a party.

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Slip a lil' note under their doors saying you're hosting a party and that you'll do your best to control the volume. Include your phone number (if they don't already have it from that directory!) and tell them to shoot you a text if the noise is getting too disruptive. It's better to get a text than a visit from the cops — plus they're more likely to be understanding when they hear loud music if they were warned beforehand. If it's appropriate, you could even invite them!

9. And if you really want to wow them, leave a little apology note with extra unopened party snacks the next day.

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They'll be touched and, again, more understanding about your shenanigans if they wake up to some leftover treats and a note saying, "Thanks for putting up with the noise last night!" A small gesture can make a big difference.

10. Bring them a tray of treats at the holidays.

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I don't know about you, but I'd love if one of my neighbors showed up at my door with some freshly baked cookies at Christmastime (or on a random Tuesday in May). It's a super-cute and thoughtful way to show that you're thinking of those in your community, especially around the holidays, when feelings of loneliness tend to spike. If you're lucky, they'll return the favor with something equally delicious.

11. Or, send them a festive card.

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Not into baking? Cards are a lovely idea, too! Send a holiday card to everyone on your block, or slip them under their doors or inside their mailboxes if you live in an apartment building. It's a quick but impactful way to show you care. Plus, snail mail feels more special than ever now that pretty much all we do is text each other emojis and memes.

12. Establish a book-lending cupboard.

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Set up a little free library with a take-one-leave-one system. You could put a rack of books in the mailroom of your apartment building, or install a new mailbox on your street to store them. Watching which books get picked up and which ones get added will become your new favorite pastime, plus it's a fun and easy way to encourage interaction among your neighbors.

13. Share your restaurant recommendations for the area.

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Looking for a restaurant recommendation? Want to share a spot you love? Need to fill a lull in the conversation with your neighbor? Talking about each other's favorite places to eat in the area is a solid strategy for connecting with them, since it's something literally every human does. Ask if they have a favorite bagel shop near your neighborhood, or extol the wonders of your go-to local diner. It's a solid crutch to lean on, and food is guaranteed to bring people together.

14. Be direct about issues, rather than passive-aggressively posting about them on Facebook or Nextdoor.

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Addressing issues head on is the only way you're going to solve anything with your neighbors — whether their dog is doing its business on your lawn, or they're blasting Toto's "Africa" until 3 a.m. Have a civilized conversation like, "Hey, your dog is a very good boy, but I've had to pick up his poop almost every day this week. I'd be so grateful if you could scoop it up instead." If the thought of this makes you sweat, you could leave them an equally polite note. Whatever you do, don't leave an anonymous note or post a snotty message about them online and start a neighborhood war.

15. Build a community garden.

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Look out for a patch of land in your neighborhood that could be transformed into a community garden. Tending to tomatoes, strawberries, or whatever you decide to grow is a tried and true method for bringing neighbors together and boosting happiness. Plus, you get delicious fruits and veggies out of it. By literally putting roots down, you'll foster a sense of stability in your neighborhood. These gardening diagrams will help you get started.

16. Split a CSA.

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Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) gives you direct access to fresh produce grown by local farmers. When you become a member, you basically pay for a "share" of produce from a farmer in your area, who will deliver it to a drop-off location in your neighborhood, weekly or bi-weekly, through summer and fall. If you know you won't use all of the fruits and veggies before they spoil, spit them with your neighbors! Send an email to those you think might be interested with price points, types of produce available, and timeframes to get organized.

17. Start a tool-sharing program.

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Is it really necessary for every home in your neighborhood to have their own power drill? Probably not. A huge tool collection takes up lots of valuable real estate, especially in the city, so you could start a tool-sharing list that allows everyone to see which tools belong to which home. That borrowing and lending will enhance the sense of community while actually providing a useful service. If you have the room and permission, you could even put up a board with some tools on it in the basement of your apartment building.

18. Start a wiffle ball tournament (or another sport!).

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If there are enough kids (or adults!), you could be the MVP of your neighborhood and host a wiffle ball tournament in your backyard. Assign teams so no one gets picked last, create makeshift bases out of frisbees, and pick up a wiffle ball set from your local dollar store — if you don't have one lying around your garage already. Feeling particularly committed to this idea? You could spray paint the lines of a baseball field onto your lawn, too. Oh, and make sure you have water and some good snacks ready to go.

19. Host a block party.

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Block parties don't have to be a thing of the past! They're a classic way to unite your community and boost morale at time when, TBH, we could all stand to feel a little less divided. Once you have some neighbors on board, you'll need a couple of months to get this thing off the ground. For example, in New York, I would have to apply 60 days in advance to receive a street activity permit that would allow me to shut down a block for nine hours. Do some research into what the process is like in your area, and once that's settled, you can get to planning the fun stuff: food, drinks, music, and entertainment. Be sure to create a spreadsheet that breaks down prices, contact information, and schedule to keep things running smoothly with your neighbors.

20. And remember to manage your expectations.

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You might really want to lean into some of these ideas, and maybe you've already started creating T-shirts that say "Neigh for Your Neighbors" with a cartoon horse on the front, but let's pump the brakes for a sec. It's entirely possible that your neighbors won't be as sociable as you, or they just don't have the time to spend on a bunch of activities (or they're, like, afraid of horses). That's totally cool. We all need our space. So, ease into the interaction and see where it leads!

BTW, The Little Book of Lykke inspired a few ideas on this list, and I'd highly recommend picking up a copy for more heartwarming ways to build community. Get it from Amazon for $10.99, Barnes & Noble for $12.99, or a local bookseller through IndieBound.