Welcome to Scotland! Here is a quick and completely accurate guide to what Scottish people are like.
1. Scottish men look like this.
2. Scottish women look like this.
3. Scottish people are very patriotic and are constantly waving small Scottish flags.
4. Scottish people a very proud of their Scottish business cards and will show them to you at every opportunity.
5. Scottish people are all superheroes whose secret power is being Scottish.
6. Scottish people are friendly and polite.
7. Scottish people spend most of their days carefully tuning their bagpipes.
8. Scottish people then play their bagpipes at sunset.
9. Scottish people play their bagpipes so hard it makes them grow old very quickly.
10. Scottish people like to look worried while sitting on heather.
11. Scottish people enjoy staring thoughtfully at bales of hay.
12. Scottish people always raise their hands in the air when they look at landscapes.
13. Scottish people spend their days being sassy while fishing.
14. Scottish people love kissing Highland cattle.
15. Scottish people look quite chilly on beaches.
16. Scottish people really enjoy removing shopping trolleys from ponds.
17. Scottish people have very convincing hair.
18. Scottish people are very flirty with their kilts.
19. Scottish people are always drinking whisky direct from a decanter.
20. Scottish people are TERRIBLE at winking.
21. Scottish people simply cannot get enough of standing on beaches wearing lampshades on their heads.
22. Scottish people just will not stop eating nails.
23. Scottish people are so baffled by dice they don't notice the small clumps of hay stuck to their walls.
24. And Scottish people love dressing in traditional clothing and being romanced by tiny amorous bearded men.
