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24 Lies Everybody Tells In The Office

"I don't think I got that email."

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1.

Translation: HAHAHAHA IT WAS MEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
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Translation: HAHAHAHA IT WAS MEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

2.

Translation: I love my new stapler.
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Translation: I love my new stapler.

3.

Translation: It’s surprisingly hard to flush a whole keyboard down the toilet, but I managed it.
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Translation: It’s surprisingly hard to flush a whole keyboard down the toilet, but I managed it.

4.

Translation: We’re all going for drinks without you.
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Translation: We’re all going for drinks without you.

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5.

Translation: I’m going home to watch Netflix and drink alone because I can’t stand your terrible face any more.
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Translation: I’m going home to watch Netflix and drink alone because I can’t stand your terrible face any more.

6.

Translation: *Pub.
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Translation: *Pub.

7.

Translation: I can’t bring myself to write something even vaguely nice about you.
XiXinXing / Getty Images/iStockphoto

Translation: I can’t bring myself to write something even vaguely nice about you.

8.

Translation: I’m hungover.
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Translation: I’m hungover.

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9.

Translation: I’m hungover.
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Translation: I’m hungover.

10.

Translation: I’m hungover.
Wavebreakmedia Ltd / Getty Images/Lightwavemedia

Translation: I’m hungover.

11.

Translation: I’m so hungover I think I might die.
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Translation: I’m so hungover I think I might die.

12.

Translation: I want you to shut up now.
Wavebreakmedia Ltd / Getty Images/Wavebreak Media

Translation: I want you to shut up now.

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13.

Translation: An email will be much easier to ignore.
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Translation: An email will be much easier to ignore.

14.

Translation: I printed that email out just so I could set fire to it.
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Translation: I printed that email out just so I could set fire to it.

15.

Translation: We are never going to talk about this again.
Monkey Business Images Ltd / Getty Images/Monkey Business

Translation: We are never going to talk about this again.

16.

Translation: At least that meeting ended.
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Translation: At least that meeting ended.

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17.

Translation: I stopped listening after five minutes so you’ll need to tell me all that again.
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Translation: I stopped listening after five minutes so you’ll need to tell me all that again.

18.

Translation: Mark is a psychopath.
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Translation: Mark is a psychopath.

19.

Translation: I’m claiming credit for this, suckers.
Wavebreakmedia Ltd / Getty Images/Wavebreak Media

Translation: I’m claiming credit for this, suckers.

20.

Translation: I spend every lunch hour stalking their Facebook.
monkeybusinessimages / Getty Images/iStockphoto

Translation: I spend every lunch hour stalking their Facebook.

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21.

Translation: I’ve been having an affair with Sam from accounts for six months.
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Translation: I’ve been having an affair with Sam from accounts for six months.

22.

Translation: And by email you understand I mean Candy Crush.
miszaqq / Getty Images/iStockphoto

Translation: And by email you understand I mean Candy Crush.

23.

Translation: We’re going bust in three months.
Wavebreakmedia Ltd / Getty Images/Wavebreak Media

Translation: We’re going bust in three months.

24.

Translation: I’m already looking for a new job.
Jupiterimages / Getty Images/Goodshoot RF

Translation: I’m already looking for a new job.