British Celebrities’ First Tweets, Ranked From Worst To Best

“I’m now a Twit.”

32. Self-hashtagging your first tweet. No.

31. That’s not really how Twitter works Jamie.

30. Not even a humble brag.

29. 140 characters fail.

28. “Look at me”

27. To the point.

I am the real Liam Payne

— Liam Payne (@Real_Liam_Payne)

26. Correct.

So this is twitter.....

— Jkcorden (@JKCorden)

25. Can’t be faulted for accuracy.

BREAKING NEWS: I'm now a Twit. Official.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)

24. Functional.

Hello Twitterers. I'm About to fly to Africa for a new project and will be tweeting whilst I'm filming.

— Stephen Fry (@stephenfry)

23. Aspirational.

Considering running a marathon next year.

— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran)

22. Worrying about imposters was a big thing.

ATTN @ADavidMitchell is an imposter. This is me. Others will verify.

— David Mitchell (@RealDMitchell)

21. A really…

@RobertWebb72 The Party's over and you're busted. I've let Twitter know that you're an impersonator ps I live in a basement flat - tyles?

— Robert Webb (@arobertwebb)

20. …big…

Setting up my account and trying to work out who the hell 'Chris Moyles' and 'Chris Moyles Show' are cos they are NOT THE REAL ME, I AM!

— Chris Moyles (@CHRISDJMOYLES)

19. …thing.

I am now really on Twitter. Someone was pretending to be me but I am me. I'll update a photo later to confirm. Eddie in N7 at the moment

— Eddie Izzard (@eddieizzard)

18. Inaccurate.

I have been bullied into joining Twitter. Let's see how long this lasts. I reckon 8 days.

— Charlie Brooker (@charltonbrooker)

17. Very Guardian.

is northern line working? or do i use my davos snow grips (never used?)

— alan rusbridger (@arusbridger)

16. We all were.

looking puzzled at twitter

— Grace Dent (@gracedent)

15. Strong tweet.

I am a bit tired

— Jeremy Clarkson (@JeremyClarkson)

14. Keep us updated.

watching telly

— richard bacon (@richardpbacon)

13. ALLCAPSY

IM IN LA MAKING MY DEBUT ALBUM :-)

— JESSIE J (@JessieJ)

12. Good self-affirmation.

Wondering why I'm eating weight watchers chocolate.... I'm not fat!

— Phillip Schofield (@Schofe)

11. very example. such excited. much tweet. wow.

I have just joined twitter. Wow

— example (@example)

10. The man who invented the web was confused by Twitter’s user interface.

Ooops confusing user interfxce. And no phones on on stage with radiomikes.

— Tim Berners-Lee (@timberners_lee)

9. Brand, staying on brand.

i have come to join you pleas be gentle with me as ive been feeling vulnerable... yet implausibly, sexy

— Russell Brand (@rustyrockets)

8. “It will only get worse but at the moment it’s bearable” is a pretty good summary of Twitter, tbh.

It’s cold and will only get worse but at the moment it’s bearable. Holly and Sam are coping well as are the rest of the crew.

— Richard Branson (@richardbranson)

7. Good anecdote.

Cheltenham Science Fest: intro'd @Bengoldacre to Vorderman. Later told, "the one person Carol doesn't want to meet today is Ben Goldacre".

— Dara Ó Briain (@daraobriain)

6. Solid joke.

I've just had my Twitter birthday. I'm 0 today!

— Peter Serafinowicz (@serafinowicz)

5. <3

@justinbieber .i gota tlk to you man..really..in private.. u got mail i can write to

— Niall Horan (@NiallOfficial)

4. Nailed it.

losing more of my social capabilities thanks to ANOTHER online community.

— Professor Green (@professorgreen)

3. Powerful.

Opening my very own Twitter to stop another bastard from doing it. So fuck off & don't expect to hear from me any time soon. Love Rik x

— Rik Mayall (@rikmayall)

2. Glamorous.

I am in Norwich

— Greg James (@gregjames)

1. Unimprovable.

i am still alive

— John Cleese (@JohnCleese)

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Tom Phillips is the UK editorial director for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
 
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