18 Ways To Tell If You Suffer From "Chronic Lateness"

Always being late might actually be a medical condition. Let’s all self-diagnose!

1. You might be this guy.

Jim Dunbar, from Forfar in Scotland, has been diagnosed with “chronic lateness” (a condition apparently related to ADHD). The Dundee Evening Telegraph reports that he was 20 minutes late for the appointment at which his condition was identified.

If you are not Jim Dunbar, here are some other signs you may suffer from Chronic Lateness.

2. This is your favourite quote:

Dan Callister/Online USA / Getty Images

3. This is your nightmare:

Meetings first thing in the morning = doom.

4. You’ve memorised the entire plot of Clockwise, to use as an excuse.

5. Your only experience of airports and railway stations is sprinting through them in a blind panic.

6. In fact basically all your attempts to use public transport end up like this:

7. Except the rare occasions where, in an attempt to make sure you’re definitely not late, you overshoot and arrive four hours early.

Airports are really boring when you’re not running through them, it turns out.

8. And you’re secretly delighted when there are transport delays, as your lateness is now legitimised.

Peter Macdiarmid / Getty Images

Even though you would have been late anyway.

9. Every job interview you ever had, you arrived sweating and out of breath.

10. You set at least four alarms for everything, knowing you will ignore the first three.

And probably the fourth.

11. If your workplace involves hot-desking, you always end up with this desk:

The early bird gets to not sit in the bathroom.

12. You firmly believe that as long as the time you leave is earlier than the time you’re supposed to arrive, it’s all fine. Regardless of how long the journey takes.

13. You’ve got used to arriving at parties after everyone else has left.

14. You are deeply suspicious of punctual people.

What are they getting up to in all the time they’re waiting for you to arrive? Plotting, that’s what.

15. All your non-late friends get so sick of waiting for you to arrive that eventually the only friends you have left are ones who are as late as you.

They’re the only ones who understand.

16. Unfortunately that means this happens.

Actual time of arrival: five to nine.

17. You booked yourself onto a time management course to try and improve yourself. Then missed it because you were running late.

18. …and you’re still reading this post when you should have left 15 minutes ago.

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Tom Phillips is the UK editorial director for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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