15 Reasons To Own A Radio

Wait, seriously? You don’t have a radio yet?

1. They’re Beautiful!

2. Honestly, This Would Be The Coolest-Looking Thing You Own

3. Even When They’re Kind Of Beat Up, They Look Good

4. You’ll Know What This Guy Sounds Like

Coleman Hawkins! I hear really good things, but don’t even know myself. All I’ve got is the photograph.

5. Buck Rogers

Ever wonder what the 25th Century will be like? This is our best guess. More swords than I would have expected, but I’m no expert.

6. You Can Tell Me What The Devil This Means

Seriously. It’s like heiroglyphics.

7. The President’s Fireside Chats

Blah blah blah fear itself blah blah human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of blah. I dunno, I guess some people are into it.

Let’s be honest: he’s a lot cooler than the president.

9. It Really Ties The Room Together

Finally, something for you and your family to gather around. Other than fire.

10. Orson Welles’ Mercury Theater

Who even knows what this guy is up to.

11. Benny Goodman

He’s basically sex in clarinet form. You’ve been warned.

12. Their Insides Look Really Weird

That’s science, I guess.

13. You Can Hear Boris Karloff Without Seeing Boris Karloff

Some people get overwhelmed.

14. George Burns and Gracie Allen

Those kids are delightful. And so young!

15. Flash Gordon

Not as cool as Buck Rogers — who, if we’re being honest, is himself not as cool as the Shadow. But he’s a lot cooler than no radio at all, which is what you’ve got right now.

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