1. Regression Sessions is a night club experience designed to take you back to a freer, sillier state of being.
Originally based in Vauxhall, London, Regression Sessions now has a second home in Amusement 13, a club in the gay quarter of Birmingham. The music might be serious but in each room you'll find daft and wonderful toys and games from yesteryear.
Tickets cost between £5 and £20.
2. It's the brainchild of this man.
Owner, Michael Mouch, told Buzzfeed Life: "I wanted to put the smiles back into clubland. There's a pretentious front to many a musically-focussed club event. Clubs shouldn't be about dark rooms filled with techno. People aren't that moody. They want to have fun."
3. Regression Sessions is very much a nightclub...
Expect hip-hop, house, garage and everything else in between.
4. But with many a twist.
5. There's a room dedicated to LEGO.
People scramble for the colourful bricks early on in the night, but their popularity wanes as the night progresses. There's much bigger and better things to be playing with.
6. There's a pile of inflatable animals, none of which remain in the building at turf out time.
"People kept throwing the space hoppers," Michael Mooch said. "So we bought these in to satiate their thirst for launching inflatables into the air, without injury."
7. Dudes will slip the inflatable animals under their t-shirts to smuggle them out while everyone is distracted by great bouncy castle skills.
The pièce de résistance bouncy castle is based slap bang on the main dance floor, so you can throw out your shapes while bounding about like a toddler on a sugar rush.
8. Not everybody's bouncy castle skills are great.
"It's a maximum of three people at a time," said Mouch. "Mostly people behave on it, but we start to worry when men decide it's time for a wrestle."
9. There's a free photobooth.
And amazingly, somehow, there was no queue. The later it gets the more people seem to want to show flesh when inside, mind you.
10. They love a good sign.
11. And some are more sought after than others.
You have to join a massive moving queue to get your mitts on this one. For the nine hours that Regression Sessions is open there is a conga of some form happening somewhere in the building, at all times. From the moment the sign is first found it is never put down.
12. It doesn't matter how much you drink, Mario Kart on the N64 remains nowhere near as good as Mario Kart on the SNES.
Perhaps they chose the more recent game because the average age of the clientele is quite young. The SNES was probably before their time. That said, there were 40-year-olds in their acting 4 years old. You check your maturity at the door.
13. Though the toys are child-friendly, the on-stage entertainment remains an altogether more adult affair.
There's something unnervingly odd about watching half-naked women dancers from the comfort of a bouncing space hopper, while spilling cold, pricey lager all over yourself.
14. The rules are: There ain't no rules! Except this one.
Which is imposed with gusto. But even the rule-breakers are in great spirits. The atmosphere is stupidly friendly and I didn't see bouncers called into action once.
15. There's an entire room dedicated to the ancient art of bubble wrap popping.
When most of the bubbles are popped, the room is decked out with fresh wrap, halfway through the night, and the popping process starts all over again.
16. You can have your caricature done, free of charge.
And you *totally* should! The activities meant you could catch your breath from the dancing and keep going for longer.
17. Giant Jenga goes on until the very early hours.
And it overlooks the main dance floor, so is a prime spot for a wind-down.
18. The number of Jenga tumbles increases proportionally with time.
Because once you've had a few drinks you become extremely confident that that tightly wedged in brick can be fired free from its wooden prison with one fast, well placed flick.
It can't.
NB - A downed tower is met with roars of joy from anyone within ear-shot.
19. If you've lost your keys, they're 100% at the bottom of the ball pit.
Good luck with that.
20. Giant playing cards allow for a 3am game of Play Your Cards Right.
And there's two annoyingly young, annoying talented magicians kicking about with close quarter Dynamo-esque tricks up their sleeves.
21. There's a lot of love in the room.
That's the overriding sensation. There's no awkwardness, not even when you first arrive. You'll regress within seconds and leave feeling that little bit younger.
Until Monday.
22. And by turf out time (6am) even Brum's legendary late night eatery, Mr Egg, is closed
It's probably for the best. You should get yourself home. And remember that Birmingham's public transport is abysmal so save money for a taxi. Assuming your wallet isn't at the bottom of that damn ball pit.
23. It's coming to a town near you.
Regression Sessions are launching in 10 new cities between October and January, including Manchester, Liverpool, Brighton, Bristol, Sheffield and Newcastle.
The next London event is on August 30th and they return to Brum on September 25th.
Tom Cullen is the editor of I Choose Birmingham, a free, weekly guide to the best things to do in Brum. Subscribe here.
