1. OK, it's December. Christmas shopping starts now.
2. I'll start with my mum's present, should be easy enough.
3. Might as well pop into Debenhams.
4. That's a pretty mumsy shop, right?
5. Ooo hello beauty department. I AM HOME!
6. The beauty counter girls are so pretty.
7. WHY CAN'T I GET MY MAKEUP TO LOOK LIKE THAT!
8. Gosh her winged liner is perfection.
9. Must. Stop. Staring. Or I could go over and ask her how she does it.
10. That might be a little weird.
11. The Christmas decorations are so nice in here. Oh I bloody love tinsel.
12. OMG A SWEET SHOP!
13. So many sweets.
14. A FERRERO ROCHER SECTION. CHRISTMAS IS COMING!
15. OK calm the fuck down.
16. Get your head in the game, girl. This is not what you're here for.
17. I need to find the perfume section. You can't go wrong with perfume.
18. People keep giving me paper to spray perfume on.
19. Screw the paper, I'm going to spray it on myself.
20. I'll spray everything.
21. TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH! I've gone too far.
22. Gosh I stink.
23. That's the fourth person to ask if I need help.
24. Fifth.
25. Sixth. I am FINE, people!
26. OK I need to leave the perfume department.
27. I'll have a look at womenswear.
28. Right. Where is womenswear?
29. How do I get to womenswear?
30. Now I need help.
31. Where are all the eager sales assistants when I need them?
32. OK escalators, that will take me somewhere.
33. Nope this is menswear.
34. More escalators.
35. Ooooo chocolates and champagne, might as well treat myself while I'm here.
36. OK I must concentrate. I am here for Mum's present!
37. They have so many sections in here.
38. Ooo Miss Selfridge.
39. Dorothy Perkins and Oasis .
40. Oh hey there Henry Holland?
41. Everything has prints on it.
42. Are prints "in"?
43. This fox-print dress is cute.
44. Oh it's really cute.
45. I'll try this dress on, then I'll go back to shopping for Mum. For real this time.
46. I look like I am dressed for a school disco.
47. But it doesn't look that bad.
48. Oh wait.
49. The rear view is shocking.
50. HAHAHAHHAAH!
51. My butt is literally stretching the foxes face.
52. OK I have to check out the "fun gifts" section.
53. I need the pug nail dryer. Must have the pug nail dryer.
54. OK back to Mum.
55. So I am now in the home section.
56. How did I end up in the home section? This place is confusing AF.
57. Look how nice all this bedding is.
58. OH GOSH is this what Egyptian cotton feels like?
59. I am hyperventilating a little.
60. It feels so good.
61. I should probably start buying nice bedding.
62. I am going to buy this Egyptian cotton bed linen in every colour.
63. HOW MUCH?!
64. Yeah. I'll just stick to my Primark bedding.
65. Moving swiftly on.
66. Oh you can buy Egyptian cotton towels. GAME.CHANGER!
67. Are towels a good present?
68. Look what we have here! It's an ode to Nando's.
69. I mean we all like Nando's, but really?
70. OK I must leave this floor.
71. How do I leave this floor?
72. So many escalators.
73. I think I am lost.
74. How do I get back to womenswear?
75. OK I'm lost.
76. I hate this place.
77. How many escalators can you have in one shop?
78. BLOODY HELL!
79. Still haven't picked a present.
80. OK I'll just go back to the perfumes.
81. FML!!
82. OK back on womenswear, but this is different to the first one.
83. OK so far I have pug nail dryer for me, nothing for Mum.
84. I've been here for 40 minutes now.
85. It's just too many options.
86. So you can book a holiday in this place. DIS TEW MUCH! I have to Snapchat this.
87. I need to sit down.
88. Oh they have a café in here.
89. Of course they do.
90. Sips tea.
91. I still have two more floors to get through.
92. FML.