1. I got a date tonight...BITCHES!
2. What if this is the one?
3. I feel like this might just be the one.
4. Not to put too much pressure on it, but this is definitely the one.
5. I say this every time, and it's never the one.
6. FFS.
7. Why am I even going on this date?
8. What am I going to wear?
9. Jeans and a nice top, or a dress, maybe a dress. No, a dress is too much, jeans and a nice top always.
10. Should I shave?
11. Fuck shaving, I can't be arsed.
12. Ok, I'm going to shave, just in case.
13. I'll have a nice bath, I'll shave, and I'll feel all sexy, luxurious, and smooth.
14. Not to bring this back up again, but this might be the one.
15. Ok, time to get ready and look fucking amazing.
16. Let me put some music on.
17. All the single ladies... All the single ladies. I won't be single for much longer BIITCHHH.
18. I might try something new with my makeup tonight.
19. That's a stupid idea.
20. Why would I try a new makeup look tonight. Tonight of all nights!
21. The night I am meeting THE ONE!
22. Ok, I'm ready.
23. I look great, I am great. Anyone would be lucky to have me.
24. Just going to send my bestie a picture so she can tell me how great I look.
25. "You looking amazing babe, just be yourself." Who the fuck asked her for advice?
26. What the fuck does "be yourself" even mean?
27. What even is myself?
28. Ok shit, I'm late.
29. One more look in the mirror. Yep, I look great.
30. It's going to be great.
31. Ok, I'm here.
32. Mmmm, where is my date?
33. I should text, I will text. Should I text?
34. Ok, I've texted.
35. Oh!
36. Walk to the table then. WALK BITCH! You are about to meet the one.
37. Shit, I didn't wear perfume.
38. How can I forget to wear perfume?
39. What if I smell? Shit, I smell.
40. Might as well go home now.
41. SMILE.
42. No, not like that. What is actually wrong with ME?
43. "Hi."
44. I guess I am the only one that made an effort for this date.
45. Thank god I didn't wear a dress.
46. I shaved for this. Lol.
47. L O FUCKING L.
48. This is clearly not the one.
49. Might as well be myself.
50. Yeah, I'll have another drink. Give me all the drinks.
51. Oh wait, I'm actually having a good time.
52. I should go to the toilet to check if I'm still as hot as I was earlier.
53. Still hot.
54. Yep, I'll have another drink.
55. Wait wait, that was a real laugh.
56. I'm actually having fun.
57. This is fun!
58. THIS IS THE ONE.
59. Naaaa...I'm just drunk.