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The Pains Of Being Named Todd

It's hard to be cool with Todds like these.

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As of the 1990 Census, Todd was the 88th most common male first name in the United States

So you think there would be some cool Todds out there, right?

It wasn't always bad. This Todd, for example, was quite loveable

But things quickly got weird in the 90's

Hollywood declared a war

Cultish neighbor Todd? Check.

Whacko freak personal assistant Todd? Check.

LL Cool J decided to distance himself

(Granted, "Cool" is a more bitchin' middle name by far)

(Granted, "Cool" is a more bitchin' middle name by far)

Even George Carlin had beef

View this video on YouTube

Dont count on a medical Todd to add any credibility

Even our beloved child star went nuts

Rap sheet highlights: making a bomb threat against a car dealership, pulling a gun on his mechanic during a dispute over a bill, and an attempted murder charge after allegedly shooting a crack dealer eight times during a cocaine binge.

Rap sheet highlights: making a bomb threat against a car dealership, pulling a gun on his mechanic during a dispute over a bill, and an attempted murder charge after allegedly shooting a crack dealer eight times during a cocaine binge.

Then Wedding Crashers blew up in 2005, and Todds everywhere were screwed

The painting was a gift. We get it.

The painting was a gift. We get it.

But surely some prominent political Todds will save us...right?!

Wrong.

Seems legit

Seems legit

But the tides are slowly changing. This Todd, for example, wrote and directed Road Trip, Old School, and The Hangover

There ya go, Todd Phillips!

There ya go, Todd Phillips!

This Todd is a five-time All-Star

Lookin' good, Todd Helton!

Lookin' good, Todd Helton!

This Todd sold his website to Yahoo! for $5.7 million

Nicely done, Todd Wagner!

Nicely done, Todd Wagner!

Even Todd Bridges redeemed himself by rescuing a drowning paraplegic woman in 2011

For real. That's what we're talkin bout, Willis!

For real. That's what we're talkin bout, Willis!

So keep your chin up Todds, and just be ok with the fact that when you give your name at Starbucks they'll never get it right.