10 Signs You Have A Greek Father

Here's the scenario: a Greek man marries an American woman. They decide to settle in the States. They have two daughters. Happily ever after, huh? Well, here's the tricky part: Greek men are always right, even when raising two daughters in America. I, being one of those daughters, am here to share a few things I've learned from my half-Greek parenting.

1. You're always "too skinny".

I know this may not sound like a bad thing at first, but try having your Yiayia call you every time you post a picture on Facebook and ask you if your mother is feeding you. Now that I'm in college, my dad has adopted the same habit when I come home on the weekends, as if I somehow dropped 10 pounds over the last five days. I'm now greeted with a "you need to eat more".

2. You're used to loud and aggressive talking.

When I have company over, I always have to reassure them that my parents are not on the brink of murdering each other. They hear my father’s muffled voice through the walls and think that World War III is commencing when my dad is actually just telling my mom about his day at work. Even his “I love you” is spoken in a way that almost sounds like a threat.

3. You know that every meal must be eaten with a big hunk of bread.

Or the whole loaf. Whether the meal in question is a salad, pasta, or even a sandwich, the Greeks will eat it with bread. I've learned that politely declining bread with dinner is pointless because my dad will hand me some anyway as if he doesn't hear me.

4. Your house is stocked with Windex because it apparently fixes everything.

The "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" joke really does have some truth behind it. My dad pulls out the Windex like it's a secret weapon. Spill on the carpet? Windex. Stain on your shirt? Windex. It may not be the best approach, but there's no point in arguing.

5. You were raised to believe that every good thing comes from the Homeland.

You could say my dad is overly-patriotic. He enjoys reminding me of all the contributions "his people" have made to the world, whether it be math, theater, democracy, or just something he made up. Anytime he does something well, he likes to shout, "That's how we do it in Greece!"

6. You think name days are just as important as birthdays.

Since my mom is American, we celebrate our birthdays just like any other family. However, my dad demands that we celebrate name days as well (no complaints here), so it's like we all have another birthday where we substitute the cake for baklava. It's pretty awesome.

7. Your eyebrows are never full enough.

Dan Heller

Plucking eyebrows is an American beauty trend that the Greeks just never caught on to. My dad constantly tells me that my eyebrows are too small and that I need to let them be "natural". He's actually tried to bribe me into not plucking them anymore. It didn't work, but it was a nice try.

8. You feel like you're related to half of Greece.

I always get friend requests on Facebook from people with names like "Stefanos Kotsianis" and "Efi Tzitziloglou". When I ask my dad if he knows who it is, he always says something along the lines of "Of course! That's your cousin!" I then receive a nice long lecture about the family tree. I just accept all of my Greek friend requests now and assume they are family.

9. You know that olive oil is a necessity.

When a recipe calls for vegetable oil, canola oil, and even butter (most of the time), I substitute it for olive oil. In my dad's eyes, it's probably the most sacred ingredient of any dish, kind of like the cooking equivalent of Windex.

10. You know you are loved by your family.

The Greeks are known to be lovable people, and my family is no exception. Despite the loud conversations, quirky habits, and unhelpful beauty tips, I never doubt that my dad (and his 5,000 family members) loves me very much.