1. Make a vague connection between you and the team's hometown.
2. Refer to the team as "the boys" as much as possible...
3. ...and to the sport itself as "the Grand Ole Game."
4. The more merchandise you own, the more believable a fan you are.
5. When you don't know what to talk about, talk about the team colors.
6. Bring the ball of the sport you are watching to the party.
7. Boo when there is booing; cheer when there is cheering.
8. Learn, like, one fact about the team and keep repeating it any chance you get.
9. Dramatically say you can't bear to watch what's going on and just do something else for a bit.
10. Learn one player's name and give him a dumbass nickname.
11. Complain about the refs so other people know where your allegiance lies.
12. Support the sponsors.
13. Dissolve into yelling vague and weird declarative statements at the screen.
14. Get wasted to the point that everything on the screen is exciting.
