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14 Ways To Hide The Fact You Know Nothing About Sports

They'll never know.

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1. Make a vague connection between you and the team's hometown.

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2. Refer to the team as "the boys" as much as possible...

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3. ...and to the sport itself as "the Grand Ole Game."

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4. The more merchandise you own, the more believable a fan you are.

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5. When you don't know what to talk about, talk about the team colors.

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6. Bring the ball of the sport you are watching to the party.

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7. Boo when there is booing; cheer when there is cheering.

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8. Learn, like, one fact about the team and keep repeating it any chance you get.

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9. Dramatically say you can't bear to watch what's going on and just do something else for a bit.

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10. Learn one player's name and give him a dumbass nickname.

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11. Complain about the refs so other people know where your allegiance lies.

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12. Support the sponsors.

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13. Dissolve into yelling vague and weird declarative statements at the screen.

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14. Get wasted to the point that everything on the screen is exciting.

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