1. Getting used to that awful smell.
Let's face it, between not showering for days and dirty diapers, adding some rotting zombie flesh isn't going to change much.
2. Getting by on no sleep.
"Honey, wake up. It's your turn to take care of the zombie horde."
3. Stepping lightly.
Alerting zombies to your presence is one thing, but waking a sleeping baby? That's a true apocalypse.
4. Wearing the same outfit for days.
"I dont need to change. It's just a little blood... or spittle... blood spittle."
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5. Abandoning all hygiene.
It's called zombie chic.
"It's hard enough to find 2 minutes to sleep, forget showering."
6. Staying indoors for weeks.
"Is it Monday or Tuesday? March or May? What's sunlight like? I forgot."
7. Being okay with a mess.
"Zombies get in?"
"No, toddler got out."
8. Never having enough food.
Grocery stores? What are those?
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9. Going on constant supply runs.
"All right, Darryl. Diapers and formula first. Beer after."
10. Baby proofing your home.
You can never have enough gates.
11. Understanding nonverbal language.
"That moan means he's hungry. This moan means he's really really hungry."
12. Constantly seeing poop and baby spit.
Because if you've seen the miracle of birth, then the miracle of a head shot ain't no thing.
