Heckling, at an adult comedy gig, can be poisonously disruptive. At our Comedy Club 4 Kids gigs, it is often bonkers, and one of the things that makes playing to children both unnerving for the acts, and a delight. Provided the kids aren't wounding with their words. At a book reading, comic and author David O'Doherty was once hit by a heckle of "Does this get good soon?" Happily, most of the ones fielded at our shows aren't quite so painful. I should know, I was once told "You look like a duck" by a 6-year-old.
1. At the ArtsDepot in Finchley a few weeks ago...
. @ComedyClub4Kids & @MrNishKumar has just asked 'Are you all alright?' Audience 'No!' Nish 'Why not?' A boy: 'BECAUSE YOURE HERE.'
2. Quite a few are poo based. Much to the dismay of their parents.
Kids are telling @bechillcomedian what super-powers they'd like. Teleportation! Invisibility! Really sticky poo! #um #right #good
3.
Phil Wang (@philnwang) :
"Can anyone here do any impressions?"
A Little Boy "I can do an impression of my uncle... but I'll need a toilet."
Upstairs At The Roxy, Edinburgh Fringe 2014
4.
"Any questions?" asks @TiernanDouieb. "What's your name again?" easier to answer, in some ways, than the follow-up, "do you like to poo?"
5.
'Our dad's poos take ages!' - Shouted at comedian Nick Doody (@NickDoody).
6. Sometimes they are just really odd.
One kid kept shouting out "You have eggs for eyes!" which was a bit upsetting as it isn't true and his delivery was a bit too "redrum"-shining for it to be completely funny & not also creepy. - Richard Sandling ( @squat_betty) at The Apex in Bury St Edmunds, 2014
7.
"I've come all the way from Jupiter for this," declares a child, "SO MAKE IT GOOD!" Jeez, they're demanding/awful in space.
8.
"I'm a pretty great guy!" boasts @MrNishKumar. "YOU'RE A GIRL!" slams a small boy. Thoroughly ignoring THE BEARD.
9.
Me 'What would you do if you were king?'
Boy 'I'd conquer Finland.'
Me 'Why?'
Boy 'Because my brother is called Finn.'
Soho Theatre, 2013
10.
"There is a tiger right on top of your head!" yells a boy at @TiernanDouieb. He doesn't. DEFINITELY NOT.
11.
At today's @ComedyClub4Kids @noisenextdoor asked what the worst thing to put up your nose is & 1 boy angrily shouted 'Brussel Sprouts!'
12.
Silky has just been heckled by a child insisting "your toast is ready". Neither she nor @killforaseat have a toaster. WHAT IS HAPPENING!?
13.
Most acts don't get heckled by a child asking menacing if they "want to dance". Most acts are not @EricLampaert.
14. Some are brilliantly progressive...
At @ComedyClub4Kids: @sarapascoe "I'm going to marry a pop star. Who should it be?" Child: "Katy Perry." Take THAT conservatives!
15. Some are just rude...
At @ComedyClub4Kids, @markolver walked onstage to an immediate heckle of 'you've got big ears' from a 7 year old girl.
16.
Great fun at Comedy 4 Kids. Got heckled with 'get a haircut' though
17. One of the classics. Poor @mattkirshen
Ha, been reminded Matt Kirshen once got heckled with "why is that your face?!" at one of our gigs. Should be his new showtitle. #yes
18. And poor Matt Highton...
Please note, when @MattHighton asked Dulwich kids what they thought of his jacket at yesterday's gig, one told him it's very "last season".
19. And Mat Ricardo... (It's as though they just don't like Matthews).
Killer heckle from a little girl "Are you EVER going to do the trick you've been talking about for all of this lesson?" LESSON.
20. It can be quite sobering at times for us acts.
.@TiernanDouieb just asked a child to tell him a rude word. It didn't go wrong in the expected way. The boy asked "why are you doing this?"
Which isn't always a bad thing for the audience.
Favorite Fringe moment was at a kid's comedy club. Kid was asked his favorite rude word by a compere. Kid answers; 'why are you doing this?'
21. We run workshops too...
"If you move a friend's furniture an inch everyday, one day it will be somewhere else." Another gem from today's group @ComedyClub4Kids
First @ComedyClub4Kids workshop today, a child drew smilies on his knees then enacted 'The Knee Family Movie' 1 & 2. Incredible.
We played the tell-a-story-1-line-at-a-time game today. One started with a Dalek landing on Hitler. It ended with a baby unicorn Dr sidekick
According to one of the evaluation sheets from today's @ComedyClub4Kids workshops, our sessions would be better with 'more unicorns.' Obvs.
Today at our @ComedyClub4Kids workshop in Woking, 10yr old Michael decided his name is now 'Cool Chicken 7.' Our work here is done
22. Some children are very confident...
1st @ComedyClub4Kids highlight today. @KeithFarnan asking if anyone wants to be king & a boy shouted 'I will lead this country to greatness'
23. Comedy Club 4 Kids regular Hector (now aged 8) is a professional heckler.
"Any questions?" asks @TiernanDouieb. "Is Boba Fett here?" asks Hector, in disguise as Han Solo. "Yes!" bellows another. "Aargh!" yells Han.
24.
"I got a new iPhone5 this week," boasts @TiernanDouieb. "EAT IT!" yells Hector. One of those awesome all-purpose heckles. And NO.
25.
Today @ComedyClub4Kids Hector, a CC4K regular told us that he once bit a vampire. Reverse horror brilliance.
26.
RT @MattHighton No heckle will ever beat "I want to lick your arm" and he tried... << Yes he very much did: http://t.co/vGPLMHKj Go Hector!
27. Sometimes one audience member will say something....
Child in the @Udderbellyfest claiming to be called Bob, who has previously snuck into the gig dressed as a chicken. NO CLUCKING WAY!
And other children think it's a good idea to run with this idea....
Lawks, now another child has claimed to be called Bob the Chicken too. @TiernanDouieb has just checked; it IS a Bob the Chicken Convention!
And get more weird with it....
"It is not fine to wipe out entire civilisations just because you want to eat their brains, Max the Chickens," insists a wise @MrNishKumar.
"So Justin Bieber's real name is Bob the Chicken Dustbin Beaver?" checks @MrNishKumar. Just making sure the heckles are all understood.
"Who's Bob the Chicken!?" asks @MrNishKumar. "I'm the original Bob the Chicken!" "I'm the old-fashioned Bob the Chicken!" yells another.
This is a very odd gig.
So @TiernanDouieb just asked if the room is ok, a child has asked no vampires eat him, and a Bob the Chicken vampire says he can't help it.
Bringing the headliner on just as soon as this is sorted.
We are now playing Human Guess Who. First question from the audience is "do you like onions?" Oh, the original Bob the Chicken.
Incredibly, like he'd planned this with everyone, @howardread was able to end the gig with his own Bob the Chicken animated stand-up!
Thanks to all the Bob The Chickens, Bob The Vampire Chickens & Bob The Brain Eating Chickens at out truly bonkers @comedyclub4kids today.
28. And again. Poor Sally Ann Hayward...
Sally Anne Hayward (@sallyannhayward) was in the middle of telling a joke about a pilot...
Sally Ann "And David introduced himself...."
Child in audience "Was it David Beckham?"
Sally Ann "No I don't think David Beckham flies planes."
Another child: "Was it David Moyes?"
Sally Ann "Nope, not sure he has a pilot's license."
A small girl "Was it David Bowie?"
Sally Ann " Er..no."
Small boy "My uncle is called David."
Sally Ann "Does he fly planes?"
Small boy "No."
Sally Ann "Then I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been him."
Various other David's are thrown in...until...
"Was it David Attenborough?"
Sally Ann "Well, that is possibly the most plausible out of all the David's so yes perhaps it was him."
And she carried on until she got to the other pilot called Andrew...
"Was it Prince Andrew?"
At Michael Croft Theatre, Dulwich 2014
29. Really though, more often than not, they are a very marvellous audience to perform to.
Aaw, @mattHighton's having a paddy about how much the kids don't love him. It has been curbed by a heckle of "YOU'RE THE BEST!"
30.
"You're really funny!" heckles a kid at @StuGoldsmith. More join in with still more praise. WHAT A LOVELY AUDIENCE WE HAVE.
31.
View this video on YouTube
Nish Kumar talking to Jamie, aged 5, who is the loveliest heckler ever.
View this video on YouTube
Lastly, if you have time, please watch and help share our very very important appeal. #savesanta
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