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31 Of The Best Heckles From Children

The funniest, cutest and weirdest interruptions comedians have faced at Comedy Club 4 Kids.

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Heckling, at an adult comedy gig, can be poisonously disruptive. At our Comedy Club 4 Kids gigs, it is often bonkers, and one of the things that makes playing to children both unnerving for the acts, and a delight. Provided the kids aren't wounding with their words. At a book reading, comic and author David O'Doherty was once hit by a heckle of "Does this get good soon?" Happily, most of the ones fielded at our shows aren't quite so painful. I should know, I was once told "You look like a duck" by a 6-year-old.

1. At the ArtsDepot in Finchley a few weeks ago...

. @ComedyClub4Kids & @MrNishKumar has just asked 'Are you all alright?' Audience 'No!' Nish 'Why not?' A boy: 'BECAUSE YOURE HERE.'

Tiernan Douieb@TiernanDouieb

. @ComedyClub4Kids & @MrNishKumar has just asked 'Are you all alright?' Audience 'No!' Nish 'Why not?' A boy: 'BECAUSE YOURE HERE.'

12:24 PM - 14 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

2. Quite a few are poo based. Much to the dismay of their parents.

Kids are telling @bechillcomedian what super-powers they'd like. Teleportation! Invisibility! Really sticky poo! #um #right #good

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

Kids are telling @bechillcomedian what super-powers they'd like. Teleportation! Invisibility! Really sticky poo! #um #right #good

5:27 PM - 12 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

3.

Phil Wang (@philnwang) :

"Can anyone here do any impressions?"

A Little Boy "I can do an impression of my uncle... but I'll need a toilet."

Upstairs At The Roxy, Edinburgh Fringe 2014

4.

"Any questions?" asks @TiernanDouieb. "What's your name again?" easier to answer, in some ways, than the follow-up, "do you like to poo?"

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

"Any questions?" asks @TiernanDouieb. "What's your name again?" easier to answer, in some ways, than the follow-up, "do you like to poo?"

3:12 PM - 14 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

5.

'Our dad's poos take ages!' - Shouted at comedian Nick Doody (@NickDoody).

6. Sometimes they are just really odd.

One kid kept shouting out "You have eggs for eyes!" which was a bit upsetting as it isn't true and his delivery was a bit too "redrum"-shining for it to be completely funny & not also creepy. - Richard Sandling ( @squat_betty) at The Apex in Bury St Edmunds, 2014

7.

"I've come all the way from Jupiter for this," declares a child, "SO MAKE IT GOOD!" Jeez, they're demanding/awful in space.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

"I've come all the way from Jupiter for this," declares a child, "SO MAKE IT GOOD!" Jeez, they're demanding/awful in space.

11:20 AM - 20 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

8.

"I'm a pretty great guy!" boasts @MrNishKumar. "YOU'RE A GIRL!" slams a small boy. Thoroughly ignoring THE BEARD.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

"I'm a pretty great guy!" boasts @MrNishKumar. "YOU'RE A GIRL!" slams a small boy. Thoroughly ignoring THE BEARD.

4:51 PM - 04 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

9.

Me 'What would you do if you were king?'

Boy 'I'd conquer Finland.'

Me 'Why?'

Boy 'Because my brother is called Finn.'

Soho Theatre, 2013

10.

"There is a tiger right on top of your head!" yells a boy at @TiernanDouieb. He doesn't. DEFINITELY NOT.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

"There is a tiger right on top of your head!" yells a boy at @TiernanDouieb. He doesn't. DEFINITELY NOT.

3:19 PM - 17 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

11.

At today's @ComedyClub4Kids @noisenextdoor asked what the worst thing to put up your nose is & 1 boy angrily shouted 'Brussel Sprouts!'

Tiernan Douieb@TiernanDouieb

At today's @ComedyClub4Kids @noisenextdoor asked what the worst thing to put up your nose is & 1 boy angrily shouted 'Brussel Sprouts!'

6:02 PM - 10 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

12.

Silky has just been heckled by a child insisting "your toast is ready". Neither she nor @killforaseat have a toaster. WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

Silky has just been heckled by a child insisting "your toast is ready". Neither she nor @killforaseat have a toaster. WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

5:44 PM - 22 Aug 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

13.

Most acts don't get heckled by a child asking menacing if they "want to dance". Most acts are not @EricLampaert.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

Most acts don't get heckled by a child asking menacing if they "want to dance". Most acts are not @EricLampaert.

10:25 AM - 15 Apr 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

14. Some are brilliantly progressive...

At @ComedyClub4Kids: @sarapascoe "I'm going to marry a pop star. Who should it be?" Child: "Katy Perry." Take THAT conservatives!

Bec Hill@bechillcomedian

At @ComedyClub4Kids:
@sarapascoe "I'm going to marry a pop star. Who should it be?"
Child: "Katy Perry."
Take THAT conservatives!

4:40 PM - 21 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

15. Some are just rude...

At @ComedyClub4Kids, @markolver walked onstage to an immediate heckle of 'you've got big ears' from a 7 year old girl.

Tiernan Douieb@TiernanDouieb

At @ComedyClub4Kids, @markolver walked onstage to an immediate heckle of 'you've got big ears' from a 7 year old girl.

3:44 PM - 24 Sep 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

16.

Great fun at Comedy 4 Kids. Got heckled with 'get a haircut' though

Tiffany Stevenson@tiffstevenson

Great fun at Comedy 4 Kids. Got heckled with 'get a haircut' though

2:55 PM - 12 Feb 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

17. One of the classics. Poor @mattkirshen

Ha, been reminded Matt Kirshen once got heckled with "why is that your face?!" at one of our gigs. Should be his new showtitle. #yes

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

Ha, been reminded Matt Kirshen once got heckled with "why is that your face?!" at one of our gigs. Should be his new showtitle. #yes

3:56 PM - 17 May 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

18. And poor Matt Highton...

Please note, when @MattHighton asked Dulwich kids what they thought of his jacket at yesterday's gig, one told him it's very "last season".

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

Please note, when @MattHighton asked Dulwich kids what they thought of his jacket at yesterday's gig, one told him it's very "last season".

10:34 AM - 07 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

19. And Mat Ricardo... (It's as though they just don't like Matthews).

Killer heckle from a little girl "Are you EVER going to do the trick you've been talking about for all of this lesson?" LESSON.

Mat Ricardo@MatRicardo

Killer heckle from a little girl "Are you EVER going to do the trick you've been talking about for all of this lesson?" LESSON.

5:27 PM - 17 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

20. It can be quite sobering at times for us acts.

.@TiernanDouieb just asked a child to tell him a rude word. It didn't go wrong in the expected way. The boy asked "why are you doing this?"

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

.@TiernanDouieb just asked a child to tell him a rude word. It didn't go wrong in the expected way. The boy asked "why are you doing this?"

4:22 PM - 22 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Which isn't always a bad thing for the audience.

Favorite Fringe moment was at a kid's comedy club. Kid was asked his favorite rude word by a compere. Kid answers; 'why are you doing this?'

Sharon Horgan@RealSharHorgan

Favorite Fringe moment was at a kid's comedy club. Kid was asked his favorite rude word by a compere. Kid answers; 'why are you doing this?'

2:14 PM - 24 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

21. We run workshops too...

"If you move a friend's furniture an inch everyday, one day it will be somewhere else." Another gem from today's group @ComedyClub4Kids

Moj Taylor@mojtaylor

"If you move a friend's furniture an inch everyday, one day it will be somewhere else."

Another gem from today's group @ComedyClub4Kids

3:22 PM - 21 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

First @ComedyClub4Kids workshop today, a child drew smilies on his knees then enacted 'The Knee Family Movie' 1 & 2. Incredible.

Tiernan Douieb@TiernanDouieb

First @ComedyClub4Kids workshop today, a child drew smilies on his knees then enacted 'The Knee Family Movie' 1 & 2. Incredible.

11:40 AM - 23 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

We played the tell-a-story-1-line-at-a-time game today. One started with a Dalek landing on Hitler. It ended with a baby unicorn Dr sidekick

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

We played the tell-a-story-1-line-at-a-time game today. One started with a Dalek landing on Hitler. It ended with a baby unicorn Dr sidekick

2:02 PM - 24 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

According to one of the evaluation sheets from today's @ComedyClub4Kids workshops, our sessions would be better with 'more unicorns.' Obvs.

Tiernan Douieb@TiernanDouieb

According to one of the evaluation sheets from today's @ComedyClub4Kids workshops, our sessions would be better with 'more unicorns.' Obvs.

4:55 PM - 24 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Today at our @ComedyClub4Kids workshop in Woking, 10yr old Michael decided his name is now 'Cool Chicken 7.' Our work here is done

Tiernan Douieb@TiernanDouieb

Today at our @ComedyClub4Kids workshop in Woking, 10yr old Michael decided his name is now 'Cool Chicken 7.' Our work here is done

2:51 PM - 30 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

22. Some children are very confident...

1st @ComedyClub4Kids highlight today. @KeithFarnan asking if anyone wants to be king & a boy shouted 'I will lead this country to greatness'

Tiernan Douieb@TiernanDouieb

1st @ComedyClub4Kids highlight today. @KeithFarnan asking if anyone wants to be king & a boy shouted 'I will lead this country to greatness'

1:17 PM - 17 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

23. Comedy Club 4 Kids regular Hector (now aged 8) is a professional heckler.

"Any questions?" asks @TiernanDouieb. "Is Boba Fett here?" asks Hector, in disguise as Han Solo. "Yes!" bellows another. "Aargh!" yells Han.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

"Any questions?" asks @TiernanDouieb. "Is Boba Fett here?" asks Hector, in disguise as Han Solo. "Yes!" bellows another. "Aargh!" yells Han.

5:02 PM - 16 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

24.

"I got a new iPhone5 this week," boasts @TiernanDouieb. "EAT IT!" yells Hector. One of those awesome all-purpose heckles. And NO.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

"I got a new iPhone5 this week," boasts @TiernanDouieb. "EAT IT!" yells Hector. One of those awesome all-purpose heckles. And NO.

1:43 PM - 29 Sep 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

25.

Today @ComedyClub4Kids Hector, a CC4K regular told us that he once bit a vampire. Reverse horror brilliance.

Tiernan Douieb@TiernanDouieb

Today @ComedyClub4Kids Hector, a CC4K regular told us that he once bit a vampire. Reverse horror brilliance.

1:44 PM - 25 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

26.

RT @MattHighton No heckle will ever beat "I want to lick your arm" and he tried... << Yes he very much did: http://t.co/vGPLMHKj Go Hector!

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

RT @MattHighton No heckle will ever beat "I want to lick your arm" and he tried... << Yes he very much did: http://t.co/vGPLMHKj Go Hector!

10:40 AM - 04 Dec 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

27. Sometimes one audience member will say something....

Child in the @Udderbellyfest claiming to be called Bob, who has previously snuck into the gig dressed as a chicken. NO CLUCKING WAY!

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

Child in the @Udderbellyfest claiming to be called Bob, who has previously snuck into the gig dressed as a chicken. NO CLUCKING WAY!

4:24 PM - 22 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

And other children think it's a good idea to run with this idea....

Lawks, now another child has claimed to be called Bob the Chicken too. @TiernanDouieb has just checked; it IS a Bob the Chicken Convention!

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

Lawks, now another child has claimed to be called Bob the Chicken too. @TiernanDouieb has just checked; it IS a Bob the Chicken Convention!

4:26 PM - 22 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

And get more weird with it....

"It is not fine to wipe out entire civilisations just because you want to eat their brains, Max the Chickens," insists a wise @MrNishKumar.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

"It is not fine to wipe out entire civilisations just because you want to eat their brains, Max the Chickens," insists a wise @MrNishKumar.

4:42 PM - 22 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

"So Justin Bieber&#39;s real name is Bob the Chicken Dustbin Beaver?" checks @MrNishKumar. Just making sure the heckles are all understood.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

"So Justin Bieber's real name is Bob the Chicken Dustbin Beaver?" checks @MrNishKumar. Just making sure the heckles are all understood.

4:45 PM - 22 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

"Who&#39;s Bob the Chicken!?" asks @MrNishKumar. "I&#39;m the original Bob the Chicken!" "I&#39;m the old-fashioned Bob the Chicken!" yells another.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

"Who's Bob the Chicken!?" asks @MrNishKumar. "I'm the original Bob the Chicken!" "I'm the old-fashioned Bob the Chicken!" yells another.

4:49 PM - 22 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

So @TiernanDouieb just asked if the room is ok, a child has asked no vampires eat him, and a Bob the Chicken vampire says he can&#39;t help it.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

So @TiernanDouieb just asked if the room is ok, a child has asked no vampires eat him, and a Bob the Chicken vampire says he can't help it.

5:03 PM - 22 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Bringing the headliner on just as soon as this is sorted.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

Bringing the headliner on just as soon as this is sorted.

5:03 PM - 22 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

We are now playing Human Guess Who. First question from the audience is "do you like onions?" Oh, the original Bob the Chicken.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

We are now playing Human Guess Who. First question from the audience is "do you like onions?" Oh, the original Bob the Chicken.

5:11 PM - 22 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Incredibly, like he&#39;d planned this with everyone, @howardread was able to end the gig with his own Bob the Chicken animated stand-up!

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

Incredibly, like he'd planned this with everyone, @howardread was able to end the gig with his own Bob the Chicken animated stand-up!

5:22 PM - 22 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Thanks to all the Bob The Chickens, Bob The Vampire Chickens &amp; Bob The Brain Eating Chickens at out truly bonkers @comedyclub4kids today.

Tiernan Douieb@TiernanDouieb

Thanks to all the Bob The Chickens, Bob The Vampire Chickens & Bob The Brain Eating Chickens at out truly bonkers @comedyclub4kids today.

5:52 PM - 22 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

28. And again. Poor Sally Ann Hayward...

Sally Anne Hayward (@sallyannhayward) was in the middle of telling a joke about a pilot...

Sally Ann "And David introduced himself...."

Child in audience "Was it David Beckham?"

Sally Ann "No I don't think David Beckham flies planes."

Another child: "Was it David Moyes?"

Sally Ann "Nope, not sure he has a pilot's license."

A small girl "Was it David Bowie?"

Sally Ann " Er..no."

Small boy "My uncle is called David."

Sally Ann "Does he fly planes?"

Small boy "No."

Sally Ann "Then I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been him."

Various other David's are thrown in...until...

"Was it David Attenborough?"

Sally Ann "Well, that is possibly the most plausible out of all the David's so yes perhaps it was him."

And she carried on until she got to the other pilot called Andrew...

"Was it Prince Andrew?"

At Michael Croft Theatre, Dulwich 2014

29. Really though, more often than not, they are a very marvellous audience to perform to.

Aaw, @mattHighton&#39;s having a paddy about how much the kids don&#39;t love him. It has been curbed by a heckle of "YOU&#39;RE THE BEST!"

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

Aaw, @mattHighton's having a paddy about how much the kids don't love him. It has been curbed by a heckle of "YOU'RE THE BEST!"

4:55 PM - 24 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

30.

"You&#39;re really funny!" heckles a kid at @StuGoldsmith. More join in with still more praise. WHAT A LOVELY AUDIENCE WE HAVE.

Comedy Club 4 Kids@ComedyClub4Kids

"You're really funny!" heckles a kid at @StuGoldsmith. More join in with still more praise. WHAT A LOVELY AUDIENCE WE HAVE.

5:12 PM - 06 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

31.

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

Nish Kumar talking to Jamie, aged 5, who is the loveliest heckler ever.

View this video on YouTube

Lastly, if you have time, please watch and help share our very very important appeal. #savesanta

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