1. Will Trade For Panties
Is it alright if the panties have a knot in the side after the elastic came out?
2. Will Trade Antique Gun
3. Will Trade For Flesh
4. Will Trade For Jeff Buckley Tickets
While you’re at it, bring back Grandma and my dog from heaven. *sob*
5. Will Trade For First Born Child
But it costs hundreds of thousands to raise a kid. What a crap deal.
6. Will Trade For Miu Miu
I bet this guy will really miss not having his wife with him at the show.
7. Will Trade For Freedom To “Play God”
It doesn’t look like psychokinetic powers are on the table though. Pfft, pass.
8. Will Trade For Insanity And Bitterness
Can I do “The Stranger” instead?
9. Will Trade For Sob Story
Did you say a tragic car accident? I thought we were talking about one of those regular fatal accidents. That’s extra sad, bro.
10. Will Trade For A Night With Your Wife
11. Will Trade For Least Disgusting Offer
But, you know, will still settle for a kind of disgusting offer.
12. Will Trade For Pretty Glasses
I’m a hardcore fan but oooohhhh designer labels!
13. Will Trade For “Love”
Ohh, and “party favors”! Yay! It’ll be like a rapey birthday!
14. Will Trade For Soul
This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!
- "We can never apologize enough." United released its report on the plane dragging accident, and outlined changes it'll make to prevent similar incidents.
- Republicans have breathed new life into their once dead Obamacare replacement and it may be enough to get the bill through the House.
- Sebastian Gorka couldn't make it as a national security expert in Hungary, but that's not stopping him from advising President Trump.
- People are calling the Trump administration's new "criminal alien" hotline to report how they've been victimized by space aliens 👽☎️
Report an Issue
Drag to highlight one or more parts of the screen.
We got your feedback, and we'll follow up with you at