1. Will Trade For Panties
Is it alright if the panties have a knot in the side after the elastic came out?
2. Will Trade Antique Gun
3. Will Trade For Flesh
4. Will Trade For Jeff Buckley Tickets
While you’re at it, bring back Grandma and my dog from heaven. *sob*
5. Will Trade For First Born Child
But it costs hundreds of thousands to raise a kid. What a crap deal.
6. Will Trade For Miu Miu
I bet this guy will really miss not having his wife with him at the show.
7. Will Trade For Freedom To “Play God”
It doesn’t look like psychokinetic powers are on the table though. Pfft, pass.
8. Will Trade For Insanity And Bitterness
Can I do “The Stranger” instead?
9. Will Trade For Sob Story
Did you say a tragic car accident? I thought we were talking about one of those regular fatal accidents. That’s extra sad, bro.
10. Will Trade For A Night With Your Wife
11. Will Trade For Least Disgusting Offer
But, you know, will still settle for a kind of disgusting offer.
12. Will Trade For Pretty Glasses
I’m a hardcore fan but oooohhhh designer labels!
13. Will Trade For “Love”
Ohh, and “party favors”! Yay! It’ll be like a rapey birthday!
14. Will Trade For Soul
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