A) Amusement You like to pick holes in other peoples writing. Until you realise that a whole army of other failed writers are doing the exact same to you.
B) Baked Beans on Toast. Baked Beans are all you can ever afford to eat! Learn to enjoy them
C) Coffee. The amount of coffee you drink will only be exceeded by the amount you spill over your manuscript.
D) Dementia – Trying to keep track of so many characters, plot lines and articles has it's downside. You forget the name of your own wife a lot.
E ) Editing stage - you always seem to have about a million pieces of work being edited. Why does it take so long, goddammit!!!
F) Financial Insecurity – If you want to be well off, do not become a writer. It won't happen. Unless you win the Lotto.
G) Gmail – You probably write more emails than a mass marketing scammer.
H) Hair – Who has the money to spend on stupid things like haircuts. Long hair and a beard are the in thing, right?
I) Isolation – Locking yourself away for 100 hours at a time whilst writing is a regular occurrence. Welcome to lonely.
J) Jobs – Occasionally, you will have to get a job to pay the bills. It is painful when this happens though!
K) Knackered – When you are a writer, you very quickly establish that doing nothing is tiring.
L) Late – You spend six weeks thinking about your deadline, but will only start writing the night before. You are always behind.
M) Money – You may forget what this actually looks like for a while.
N) Novel - It doesn't seem to be getting any closer to being finished. Even after the ten hours you spent on it last night!
O) Opportunity – You will spend every second of every day searching for the perfect inspiration and then it will come when you are not prepared for it.
P) Pity – Every morning is spent conducting a solo, self pity fest.
Q) Questions – Every time you send something into an editor, all you will receive is a copious amount of questions about it.
R) Rejection - You get used to this quickly. It happens regularly!
S) Sanity – You feel like you lose it about a million times everyday!
T) Television – When you can't find the words, you seem to get stuck watching Netflix for 8 hours straight. Afterwards you hate yourself.
U) Untidy – Tidying takes time. Tidying is bad.
V) Vanity – Being a writer, you learn very quickly that you are actually quite vain. No matter how much you try and deny it!
W) Word count – Every breath you take, all you are focused on is your word count.
X) So, X was a hard one. And that makes me cross (X)
Y) Yes – You dream about the yes that you want to hear.
Z) ZZz… - Sometimes being a writer is tiring. You can write a ten thousand word article and one person will read it! ONE PERSON, GOD DAMN IT!
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Thomas Davis
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