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Fat Foam

From the makers of Bubble Butt in a Bottle and Multiple Personality Pills comes their newest product, which is now being released to the public for the first time ever. This new product will revolutionize your life in so many ways, you’ll want to personally call and thank Phony Pharmaceuticals, LLC for allowing you to purchase it. Fat Foam was originally developed by the U.S. government and NASA back in the 1980′s to help portly astronauts sleep after Tang infusions. If you act now, you can buy a 12-day supply for just three easy payments of $19.99 and three dozen jelly-filled donuts. But be sure to hurry, because supplies are limited. Please consult your caterer before using Fat Foam. Fat Foam may cause an increase in your desire to eat gravy-covered cotton candy, mattress tags, and Arby’s. If you suffer from anorexia, bulimia or the Swine Flu, please consult your physician before using Fat Foam. Other side effects for Fat Foam may include a burning sensation when you eat vegetables, salads, or come within a 100 yards of a Farmers Market. Fat Foam should not be used as a substitute for Cool Whip. This product has not been approved by the FDA, or the Obese Twins in Checkered Pants Riding Motorcycles Association of America, and the results shown are not typical. Fat Foam has been endorsed by Oprah during one of her most recent fat cycles. The makers of Fat Foam say they expect to be re-endorsed by Oprah within the next 6 to 8 months. And due to extremely high demand, the makers of Fat Foam are pleased to announce another product line designed specifically for husky hip-hop aficionados and the urban jet-sitters crowd, all-new Phat Phoam…

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