11 Classic Video Games In Need Of A Home Improvement Professional

Hiring the right home professional is important, even for video game characters. Brought to you by Porch, the world’s first home improvement network.

1. Donkey Kong - Should have hired an architect

Via Nintendo (Arcade, 1981)

I-Beam Collapse Syndrome. Don’t let it happen to you. Get an architect.

2. Battletoads - Just call a carpenter already

Via Rare (NES, 1991)

Seriously, how hard would it have been for The Dark Queen to put in some stairs?

3. Doom - Everybody loves electricians

Via id Software (PC, 1993)

There really was no reason for those hallways to be so freaking dark.

4. DuckTales - Cast a spell of “call a home cleaner”

Via Capcom (NES, 1989)

Cleanliness is obviously not one of Magica De Spell’s strong suits.

5. Super Metroid - General contractor’s gig of a lifetime

Via Nintendo (SNES, 1994)

The surviving space pirates are going to have to hire somebody to clean up Samus' mess. They'll make some general contractor very happy.

6. The Legend of Zelda - Install a Tri-Forced air HVAC system

Via Nintendo (NES, 1986)

Those dungeons can be so drafty.

7. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 - Utility disaster nightmare

Via Sega (Sega Genesis, 1992)

When you’ve got enough oil spilling into your yard to literally describe it as an “oil ocean,” it’s time to call a utilities professional.

8. Batman - This lair needs an interior designer, stat!

Via Sunsoft (NES, 1990)

Joker’s idea of tasteful decor clearly does not align with my own.

9. Paperboy - Next delivery: decent landscaping

Via Atari (Arcade, 1984)

Easy Street isn't exactly an enclave of well-landscaped homes.

10. Maniac Mansion - Should have called a locksmith

Via Lucasfilm Games (PC, 1987)

The glowing key showed up just a bit too late for Mr. Skeleton.

11. Super Mario Bros. - Plumbers to the rescue

Via Nintendo (NES, 1985)

Bowser's got a serious flooding problem in his castle. He should probably call a plumber... er... wait...

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