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Only Truly Funny People Can Finish These John Mulaney Quotes – Can You?

Quiz: Can You Finish These John Mulaney Quotes?

Only True John Mulaney Fans Can Finish These Quotes

I'll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll \_\_\_.

Money

That's the thing I'm sensitive about

"Hey, look at that high-waisted man! He got feminine hips!" And I'm like,  
"No! \_\_\_\_!"

Make you feel better about yourself

Being married is so nice. I never knew relationships were supposed to make you feel \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_.

And then [my father] said the following, “You know, Leonard Bernstein… was one of the great composers and conductors of the 20th century, but sometimes he would be \_\_\_\_."

Happiness

And Mick Jagger said.... "I can't get no..." "\_\_\_?" "NO!"

Bench

My dad goes, “How was school today?” I said, “It was good, but someone pushed Tyler off the seesaw.” “And where were you?” “I was over on the \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_.” “And what did you do?” “Nothing. I was over on the \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_."

Little fat girl

And they go, “You’re a \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, aren’t you?” and I go, “Noooo!” and they go, “SAY IT!’ and I go, “I’m a \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_.”

My dad once grabbed me by the shirt and lifted me up during church and said, “\_\_\_\_\_ can’t hear you.”

Chocolate Éclair

I went, “Hey! I’m gonna be a Democrat. And I’m gonna vote for Bill Clinton.” And without looking up at me, my dad just said, “You have the moral backbone of a \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_.”

Dolphin

Like the back of a \_\_\_\_\_\_\_, my back.

I'd be surprised if you've even seen anything other than a few YouTube clips of his stand up! You better get caught up, my friend, because you're seriously missing out!

John's father is now disappointed in both his son and you

You aren't a superfan or anything, but you put in a good effort. Perhaps you've seen _New in Town_ or maybe even _Comeback Kid_, but you've still got a lot of watching to do! Log in to Netflix ASAP and get started, my friend!

Casual John Mulaney fan

You've seen all three of his Netflix specials and probably even _Sack Lunch Bunch_ and/or _Oh, Hello_! You did John proud, but his father is still probably disappointed in the both of you. Sorry.

John Mulaney Superfan

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Only Truly Funny People Can Finish These John Mulaney Quotes – Can You?

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