I Am So Tired Of Fat Opera Singers.

Any opera singer who has been not hiding under a rock for the past 48 hours will have heard of Tara Erraught, the 25-year-old Irish mezzo who was slammed by critics for her apparently inappropriate body type in her portrayal of Octavian in Der Rosenkavalier at the Glyndebourne Opera Festival. Critics called her "... a chubby bundle of puppy fat" while they mentioned that her colleague Teodora Gheorghiu, singing the Marschallin, looked "stressed by motherhood." Want to know my take? I'm tired of fat opera singers! It wasn't like this back in the good old days! Back in the golden age of opera, when people could actually sing, everyone was thin and glamorous. I don't know where these young singers get off having extra baby weight on them when they're onstage. It totally messes with my extremely fine-tuned artistic sensibilities. To prove my point:

Birgit Nilsson was super thin!!!!!

Look at her. Thank God she had enough taste to be a size zero for all of her career.

Montserrat Caballé is practically disappearing!!!

Back in the day, amazing opera singers like Montserrat Caballé worked out four hours a day IN ADDITION to practicing their opera so that people like me wouldn't be offended.

Marian Anderson-- not an OUNCE of flesh on this frame.

Phew, glad she at least has some self-control, am I right?

Helllllooo, Pavarotti had abs!!!

Look at him-- I could grate cheese on those abs! Which totally made him a better singer!

Anna Netrebko-- fat and stressed by motherhood!

Singers these days just don't get it, do they? Look at Anna Netrebko in 2012. Not only has she put on a few pounds, she has a baby. Fat and stressed by motherhood. Totally not believable as a sexy, desirable woman, is she?

That's because men-- and women-- are only attracted to one body type. Gosh, get with the program!

No one ever found Christina Hendricks attractive. Ever. In the history of the world.

Or this woman.

I mean, come on!

So let's get with the program, singers!

Don't be too thin or stressed by motherhood, but also don't be a bundle of puppy fat, okay?**

**Women/Men of all shape and size are beautiful and those critics can GTFO in my opinion.