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You get up one weekend morning and you're in a rare mood...a cleaning mood. You're amped up to start cleaning. You think it's going to be like this...
Or this...
Or, at worst, like this.
But you're wrong. Cleaning is a horrid, soul-withering experience, and here's why:
1. Moving around all your stuff just to clean your other stuff.
2. Hitting a wall of exhaustion after cleaning like two things.
3. Opening the Clorox wipes only to see that the top wipe isn't sticking out! Now you have to open the whole container and pull the top wipe out manually, getting sticky, likely toxic cleaning fluid all over your hands. Gross!
4. Getting sucked into a BuzzFeed hole when it's time to dust off your keyboard and mouse. I mean you're right in front of the computer, why NOT check BuzzFeed? It'll only cost you an hour or two...
5. Having an annoying two-piece vacuum.
6. Dragging said vacuum up the stairs and then back down the stairs.
7. When your vacuum stops working because it's clogged with hair and dust. Eww.
8. Running out of vacuum bags.
9. Kicking up a bunch of dust from all the cleaning and only managing to irritate your allergies for all your efforts. Now you can't stop sneezing and you still have tons of cleaning to do!
10. Getting totally psyched to try a new cleaning product only to find out it doesn't work anywhere near as well as advertised.
11. Cleaning out the fridge—it's so dirty you're paranoid that Gordon Ramsay himself will come down and yell at you for your crimes against food.
12. When you remember that the dust in your room is a combination of your own dead skin, insect feces, dirt, and other things.
13. When you're all done sweeping but a large percentage of the crumbs and other debris WILL NOT be swept into the dustpan no matter how hard you try.
14. Not paying attention while mopping and mopping yourself into a corner.
15. The too-clean chemical smell that fills all the rooms once you've finished cleaning.
16. When you're finally done and then you're roommate comes in and MESSES UP EVERYTHING. The feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction you had has been washed away along with all the dust and dirt you destroyed. Have fun doing this all again!
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