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    21 Reasons You Should Never Visit Cyprus

    That idyllic Mediterranean island with the sandy beaches? Don't go there.

    1. The beaches are terrible.

    Via karmadevelopers.com

    It's so annoying how you have to choose between white sandy beaches with clear blue water, yellow sandy beaches with clear blue water, and pebbled beaches with clear blue water. Ughhh.

    2. Like, literally, there is nothing worse.

    Via sputnik.am

    Kill me now.

    3. And it's in the middle of nowhere.

    Via images.fineartamerica.com

    It takes a whole hour to get from Cyprus to Lebanon, Turkey, Israel, Egypt, or Greece, so once you land you're basically stuck there forever.

    4. There's zero culture.

    Via images.bwbx.io

    Doesn't every country have Greek, Turkish, Arab, and Armenian communities whose food, cultures, and languages have all intermixed to form distinct and unique versions of the things you'd have to visit four other countries to see?

    5. Not to mention history.

    Via upload.wikimedia.org

    It's not like it was ever colonized by the Greeks, Egyptians, Romans, Venetians, British, or Ottomans and inspired anything we associate with those great cultures.

    6. And *yawn*, what architecture?

    Via esdaw.eu

    The capital Nicosia has Venetian city walls, Turkish baths, Greek ruins, Lusignan castles, hidden mosques, grand cathedrals, and cobblestone pedestrian streets bordered by 19th century houses with courtyards. But so does pretty much every town?

    7. Oh big deal, there are columns.

    Manfred Schweda / Via thisfabtrek.com

    It's not like the Greeks and the Persians ever fought a major battle there.

    8. You can't even literally immerse yourself in ancient mythology.

    Via static.panoramio.com

    Who is this "Aphrodite" chick? Who cares if she emerged from the mists of this beach that I can swim in? Who even wants to pretend they're a goddess emerging from the clear waters of a Mediterranean paradise?

    9. The people don't know how to chill out.

    Via assets.coolhunting.com

    I already miss being elbowed by strangers for 15 minutes while waiting to order in a crowded Starbucks.

    10. They're all really unfriendly.

    Via mycyprusinsider.com

    That donkey is totally giving her the stink eye.

    11. And aren't interesting at all.

    Via cyprus.com

    Island people are so dull.

    12. There's nothing to eat.

    Via clubit.tv

    Unique local spins on Greek, Turkish, and Lebanese fare that you won't find anywhere else. But who needs a giant, mouthwatering slab of souvla, or the enormous Cypriot take on the gyro/doner? There's a place in the mall that serves "Mediterranean" food.

    13. And vegetarians are screwed.

    Via afroditeskitchen.com

    Greek salads? Cheese pies? Fried bulgur donuts stuffed with mushrooms and spices? Who would want that?!?

    14. The food is all mass-produced.

    Via afroditeskitchen.com

    They don't even know what "organic" means.

    15. Even the cheese is horrible.

    Via fashionaddictedfoodies.com

    Salty, delicious cheese that you can fry or grill and eat for breakfast with cool slices of locally grown watermelon? Kill me now.

    16. And don't get us started on the desserts.

    Via mygreekdish.com

    Deep-fried dough balls covered in walnuts and honey? Yuck.

    17. The heat is unbearable.

    Via myfunkytravel.com

    Unless you want to drive the whole 30 minutes to an idyllic mountain village to drink mint tea or "Cyprus coffee", try conserved fruit desserts, or eat grilled trout.

    18. There is zero nightlife.

    Via kibris724.com

    It's just like home: the clubs are all next to each other, hand out free shots, and are open until dawn.

    19. Some are even on the beach.

    Via ostrov-kipr.info

    Boring.

    20. And there is a serious shortage of cats.

    Via blogger.com

    Like, sometimes you walk a whole block and you only see like three cats! And they hang out with you in the garden and look all adorable and it's so annoying!

    21. Seriously, where are the cats?!?

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