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Cheeky Nando's Explained (Finally)

I may be betraying national secrets, but I will explain a cheeky Nando's even if it gets me killed.

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The phrase 'cheeky Nandos' has spread like wildfire across the American internet over the last week or so. While a 'cheeky nandos' is a very familiar sentiment to most in the UK, the meaning of the words has understandably escaped most Americans. So here I am to explain exactly what a 'cheeky nandos' is.

Cheeky = Impromptu

Searching Urban Dictionary for the word 'cheeky' will find you an abundance of possible definitions. The correct one is this, courtesy of Capt Buttpants:

The word 'cheeky' simply means impromptu, and is often used in combination with 'pop' or 'nip' to indicate that you're doing this activity quickly (not rushing it necessarily, just doing it in a way so that it doesn't take very long). You may find yourself getting a 'cheeky pint', a 'cheeky McDonald's' or even a 'cheeky night out'. The idea being that it's slightly against routine or schedule (and therefore a little naughty) but also probably fun. You tend not to go for a cheeky shit, but who am I to tell you what to do.

Nando's = a UK restaurant that specialises in fast-cooked Portuguese style chicken

Here in the UK we have a particularly popular chain of restaurants called Nando's. They sell mostly chicken, cooked in herbs and spices, with a side of your choice (usually fries/coleslaw/wedges/corn etc). It's delicious. It's common here to 'pop in' to a Nando's to grab some food, as it's quick, yummy and not too expensive (depending on your budget).

So I've explained the basic elements of a 'cheeky nandos', but as I'm sure you appreciate, there's still more to understand. You see, dear reader, we now have to introduce the concept of 'The Lad'.

Lad = young sociable male (in its nicest possible terms)

Here's Dr.Agon/mcniv for a more thorough, perhaps less polite definition:

I realise at this stage that some of the above may be gibberish to you. The terms 'banter', 'top lad', 'bird' are common expressions in the UK, but are not so easily translatable to the average American citizen. Lads like socialising, getting drunk, flirting with girls and clubbing. And Nando's. Nando's is the restaurant establishment of choice for Lads, and understandably so. The food is good, the music is loud, and you get bottomless free refills on soda. Plus, the tables are designed in such a way (often in a slightly darkened corner) so that you and 'the lads' can partake in some excellent banter over a delicious chicken.

Still don't understand? Ok, one last step.

Now clearly to the average American, most of this is nonsense. Here I'll talk you through the unusual speaking patterns of the English #Lad. I'll start with a direct translation of British slang, and then translate the entire paragraph into more understandable English.

mate = friend (typically referring to a male friend, who is also a Lad)

wif = with

jd = sports retailer

fancy = like

curry club = Thursday night (when they serve curry) at a restaurant/bar called Wetherspoons

'spoons = Wetherspoons

absolute ledge = short for 'legend'. Also known as a 'top lad'. Someone who is particularly fun.

archbishop of banterbury = A play on words. A combination of 'Archbishop of Canterbury' (this guy) and the word 'banter'

banter = form of friendly verbal sparring within conversation

brevs = a shortened term for 'brother'

top = good

smash it = do something properly, often with great vigour

And so...The translation of the above text:

"My dear friend, it's hard to explain. It's just like one day you'll be with your friends having a look in JD Sports and you might feel like getting a curry at Weatherspoons but your friend Calam who's a total legend and a very funny guy will be like "Brothers, let's get some impromptu chicken instead". And you'll think "Great! Let's do it!"

So there you have it. 'Cheeky Nando's' explained. Now you know. I just hope the British don't have me killed for betraying national secrets.

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