5 Fashion Trends That Lizard Men HATE!

Ladies, ever wondered why you can never find yourself a nice lizard man to settle down with? Ever thought it might be because we hold unrealistic standards for human women? SETTLE DOWN, and learn how it's actually all your fault - and how you can change to better please us!

1. That strange dangling thing

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It's a well known fact that lizard men HATE the strange dangling thing that hangs from the top of your head. What's up with women always doing that? Wait…that's HAIR? Oh GROSS.

Ladies, keep it away. Far away.

2. The weird growth between your eyes

Via google.co.uk

You know what I'm talking about, ladies! That truly hideous looking thing you use to "smell"? Your olfactory senses are pathetic, and you're not fooling anyone. Fake noses are trashy, and they make you trashy too. No one wants to breed generations of lizard babies with a fraud!

It's weird! Get rid of it!!!!

3. That thing that covers your whole entire body

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That foul disaster covering every last inch of your body? It's the worst and we want you to get rid of it. Seriously, lizard men can't STAND the moist, fleshy substance you women insist on covering yourselves in.

Get some scales on that disaster ASAP.

4. Thumbs

Via google.co.uk

Seriously...I know you think they're useful but have you heard of a little thing called talons?? No wonder you always have to ask us to protect the lizard swarm. Ugh, women. Why can't they be less like them, and more like us!

5. Removing natural tails! DON'T DO IT

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The lengths women will go to to get rid of their tails. To be honest it's just sad to see them going to such lengths to change something so beautiful. Keep your natural tail, ladies! Lizard men love it. Unless it's one of the ugly ones, in which case yeah get rid of it.