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Should I Break Up With My Hometown Boyfriend?

Is he 5’5?

Do you spend hours on the phone, trying to explain which one of your friends you’re talking about while he half-listens and plays video games?

Does he try and convince you that Bethany from his Intro to Bio class is just a good friend who can just get a li'l touchy sometimes and you should, “just, idk, be cool about it”?

Is this his second time trying to rush a fraternity?

Does this convo sound remotely familiar: “I don’t understand why you're going into the arts – don't you want a real job someday?”

Does he beg you to raw-dog?

Does he go home every other weekend?

Is his vape blue-raspberry flavored?

Would life be smoother if you could get laid without having to wait 2 weeks to figure out when either of you can visit?

The answer is always YES! 
You simply do not have time for a boyfriend who is still obsessed with his glory days despite his *insert sad sap quote about half-ass injury.*
You need to find someone who will give you the best orgasm of your life, without texting his lax buddies back home about it first....

Duh!

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Should I Break Up With My Hometown Boyfriend?

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