Plot Hole Theatre: Why It Had To Be Khan's Blood In 'Star Trek Into Darkness'
A fan-fiction solution to a major plot hole in Star Trek Into Darkness.
Among the several (whiny) complaints about Star Trek Into Darkness was why Uhura had to go chase Spock across a procession of space garbage trucks to make sure Khan was brought back to the Enterprise alive so his blood could bring Kirk back to life. When there were 72 perfectly good frozen Khan-friends just snoring away on the same ship, why did it have to be Khan’s blood?
Don’t worry — I solved this. With fan fiction.
James T. Kirk was dead, Spock was angry — logically so — and something had to be done. As much as most people accept that death is a natural part of life and often the cost of war, the crew of the Enterprise was not so quick to accept that their captain was dead. Especially since Dr. McCoy had shown everyone his fancy Tribble experiment.
L’Phanna Berteve was an intern on the Enterprise, probably so low among the ranks that she didn’t even register on the ranks. She probably shouldn’t have even been on the Enterprise, or in space, but Starfleet was going through some financial difficulties and sending plenty of unqualified cadet wannabes traipsing about the galaxy. L’Phanna was not one to pass up a good opportunity, so she took a position cleaning bedpans in sick bay.
She had seen Kirk’s corpse. It was truly upsetting. What she would have given to be cleaning up his bedpan instead of copyediting his toe tag.
Suddenly, McCoy came running towards her and grabbed her by both of her shoulders.
"Berteve, I need you to find all those cryogenically frozen bodies in the torpedoes and pull some blood samples!"
"What? I don’t think I’m trained to do that!"
"Cutbacks, damnit! Just do it! I trust you! Trust yourself! All that goddamn nonsense!"
"Is this about Captain Kirk?"
"Yes! Khan’s blood was able to bring a Tribble back to life. I want to see if the blood of his people can do the same in a human. They are still human, after all, right? This should totally work! Now, Spock is out trying to bring Khan back here alive, but I can’t wait forever for him - or miss an opportunity if we lose them both."
"I guess, but have you run experiments on the other blood samples? One type could be life-saving, but one could be life-ending. You could kill the Captain twice!"
"How the FUCK did you get on this ship?"
"I wanted to travel. I didn’t want an office job. That’s for squares."
An unidentified Enterprise staffer ran down the corridor.
"McCoy!" she called. "We have Khan’s blood! We’re good!"
McCoy turned to L’Phanna. “You should take your twenties to just get really drunk around other people your age and avoid trying to do anything professional or legitimate until you’re damn well ready.” And he turned and walked away.
L’Phanna thought that was really lame, but correct advice, so she went into McCoy’s desk, drank all of his liquor, and took the next escape pod out to Alderaan.
James Tiberius Kirk lived.
Special thanks to my former coworkers for providing the names Steve, Anna, Ralph, and Roberto so I could give a name to my idiot.
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