Hunting The Wild Mayo

Tracking the wily Mayo in it's natural habitat is a deadly game.

One day, not very long ago, my eldest daughter was unable to find the Mayo in the fridge. And your friendly neighborhood jman went on and on about how “wily” mayonnaise can be, going as far as hiding behind other things in the fridge, just to avoid being seen. And, sure enough, after quietly (almost stealthy) watching the fridge, I was able to nap said Mayo.

Because I’m not one to let my listeners down (or let a dumb joke die), I squandered my family’s resources and went on an expedition in search of the elusive mayonnaise in the untamed wilds of the Trget jungles (now, look, for this post to truly wow and amaze, I’m gonna need you to think the rest of it in your best British narrator accent. David Attenborough is who I’m aiming for, but if all’s you can pull off is Crocodile Dundee, then that’s fine too (crockie!)). Although I barely managed to survive several harrowing close calls, I was able to snap a few photographs of mayo in it’s natural habitat.

Now, if you look very closely, you can see the wily Mayonnaise in action. It can blend into it’s surrounding with the ability of a chameleon. It takes a skilled eye to see a well hidden Mayo. The wild Mayonnaise camouflages in it’s environment with ease. Showing once again, why it’s known as the master of disguise. The way it disappears into it’s surroundings is quite frankly…astounding.

Once again using stealth and cunning, I was able to photograph a small tribe of Mayonnaise. Here we see a small family from the clan. The adults of the family are extremely protective of their young.

You can see the inquisitive young male, peeking out from behind his mother’s protective stance, yet still within her reach.

In this photograph, a gaggle of the male mayonnaise gathering in some sort of tribal ceremony.

And this…very exciting! Probably the piece de resistance of my excursion. I was able to get close enough to photograph the mayonnaise preparing for battle. Notice how they stand on top of each other when the clan is threatened by an outsider

The only remaining photo of my death defying escape from the Trget jungles. The natives nearly had me! Only quick thinking and lightening reflexes, got me out of there, my flesh still intact (barely).

And there you have it. I like to dedicate this post to my charming daughter, Sarah. Just remember sweetheart…keep your feet on the ground and your eyes always open. They work much better that way.