1. Look at how cool Robert Pattinson is in his knit tie.
2. Too bad Cary Grant rocked the knit decades before*.
*True old-school gentlemen like Mr. Grant never forget to keep it real with a fresh boutonniere, too.
3. Taylor Swift probably thinks she’s the bee’s knees in her demure, high-waisted bikini.
4. Sorry Swifty, your grandma’s bridge club had that look on lock before sunscreen was invented.
5. You might be thinking “there’s new stuff being done all the time!”
6. Ahhh crap.
7. “But sometimes the remakes are better than the original!”
8. Hold your tongue, rapscallion!
Gatsby went into print 88 years ago. Only time will tell if the film is a true classic.
9. But we’ve got new ways to scare people in 2013!
10. Oh my GOD who the hell is that guy? Running away now!
11. Any way you slice it, today’s younger generations are embracing their roots.
12. Just like the generations that came before.
13. In case you’re still thinking “come on! we come up with new ideas all the time!”
14. Think again, son - it’s all been done.
15. And when I say all…
16. I mean all.
17. Nonetheless, you be you, short pants and all.
18. Just remember it’s all been done before.
19. So before you go thinking you’re the new breed of hotness.
20. Know that others did it before you, back when the world was actually new…
21. And full of possibilities…
22. So take my advice and just
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