Skip To Content
    This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own!

    A Super Mario Love Story, Told Through 30 Mario Products

    The Mushroom Kingdom can now be your kingdom. This is a guide to your perfect, Mario themed life.

    1. Frog Mario Ring


    Instant Geek Cred +2. Perfect for awkward party conversation starters.

    2. Piranha Earrings


    Once you've got the conversation rolling, don't forget to show off your earrings.

    "I thought my ears needed a little more omnom, so I bought these."

    3. Chain Chomp Earrings


    Perhaps mention how you had to choose between pairs.

    "Because how do you choose between dangling omnoms?"

    4. 1up Earrings


    Of course, in the end, you chose these:

    "I thought they might bring a little more life to my ears. Ha. Ha."

    5. Mario and Luigi High Five Shoes


    Now, you don't want the whole conversation to be about yourself.

    Be sure to complement the other individual on their awesome shoes.

    Trust me, they'll be flattered.

    6. Mario Plush Keychains

    Via Flickr: theangryluddite

    They'll show the awkward plush keychain they bought at San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf.

    You'll poke Mario's belly. It is predictably soft.

    7. Mario MacBook Decal


    They'll probably mention the awesome Mario decal on their MacBook.

    You mention that you're a PC person. It's an awkward silence, but the two of you laugh it off.

    8. Super Mario Mousepad


    This reminds you to tell them about your awesome mousepad.

    They're impressed. They'd really like to see that mousepad, someday.

    9. Mario Monopoly


    This might be a good time to invite the other person over for a friendly game of Monopoly.

    10. Mario Checkers


    Of course, if Monopoly isn't their thing, you mention that you could always play checkers.

    11. Mario Themed Wine Stopper


    Either way, you'll probably want to pull out the Good Stuff for this date.

    It's the perfect thing to plug that $200 of wine you've been saving for this occasion, you wonderful romantic fool, you.

    12. Mario and Co. Moustache Shot Glasses


    You won't want to finish all the Good Stuff in one go, however.

    So, here's a party game. Start up the original Mario, trade off lives and levels, take shots each time you die.

    Congrats, it's World 3 and you're drunk.

    13. Hand Painted Large Box of Awesome


    Next thing you know, you've hauled out the best container, and you're taking turns vocally reenacting this scene from Se7en:

    "What's in the baaaawks!"

    Giggles are had. Winks. Nudges.

    14. Action Figures From The Super Mario Movie


    Inside the box is, in fact, your collection of awful action figures from the Super Mario Bros movie.

    There was laughter, and then severe disappointment, remembering that the film existed.

    But you knew how to cheer the two of you up.

    15. Mushroom Touch Lamp


    For some seriously sexy mood lighting, you bought this a few days ago.

    16. Block Lamp


    And this.

    Both of which you offered to show them.

    Mentioning that these things were in your bedroom.

    There are too many jokes to be made here about mushrooms and things getting bigger and warp pipes, but... we'll skip those.

    17. 8-bit Mario Cutting Board


    The next morning, making breakfast, you'll mention how the board could only be better if they had used the Super Mario 2 Mario. Because of the veggies you're dicing, see.

    It doesn't matter. You're making them breakfast. On a Mario cutting board. It's already the best day ever.

    18. Mario Cat Hat


    After that, it's probably time to meet the animal family.

    "Meet Mewrio."

    Mewrio says Mew.

    You quickly mention that you hope they're not allergic.

    Luckily, they're not. (Phew)

    19. Yoshi Friendship Bracelet


    Before you know it, it's time to break out that risky first year anniversary gift.

    Don't worry, it's an instant swoon.

    20. Super Mario Greeting Cards


    You give them this card, and mention that sometimes it feels like you've accidentally taken the warp zone pipe.

    They tell you that they love the card, and agree, saying:

    "Life is like a warp pipe. A really good one."

    Warm fuzzies all around.

    21. Painting of Mario and Luigi as Ghostbusters


    They got you this - and don't even mention that it cost them $1,200.

    Worth it, every penny. That's what they're thinking.

    See, I know this, because I'm Omniscient.

    22. Super Mario Gummies



    The two of you munch on a box of these while you gaze out the hotel window, wishing the clouds had a few less pixels.

    23. Peach and Mario Themed Wedding Attire


    You feel like you've hit a warp pipe again - the day of your wedding is here.

    Perhaps it looked something like this.

    Perhaps there were two Marios - perhaps there were two Peaches.

    Either way, it was glorious.

    24. Super Mario Bow Tie


    One thing is for sure - if any bow ties were worn, they definitely looked like this.

    25. Mario Themed Wedding Cake

    Via Flickr: 77724016@N00

    Your cake was a thing of wonder. You almost couldn't bear to cut it.

    26. Maternity Photo Frame


    Now, the two of you have talked about it, and decided that you're probably going to be needing one of these at some point.

    27. Onesie For Little Ones


    And then, one of these.

    28. Mario Wall Decals


    You've got the nursery covered. Easy peasy, that one.

    29. Coin Block Piggy Bank


    And, once they're a few years old, you'll need to get them their very own piggy bank.

    Note: Keep away from plumbers.

    30. Hand-knit Mario Cap


    The holidays roll around again, and it's time for the annual Christmas Card Photo.

    This year, you've got one of these - one of each size, for every family member.

    Best. Photo. Ever.

    On the card, you write:

    Life is like a warp zone. A really good one.


    Create your own post!

    This post was created by a member of the BuzzFeed Community.You can join and make your own posts and quizzes.

    Sign up to create your first post!

    BuzzFeed Daily

    Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form