5 Stages Of A Hangover

5 stages we all go through on hangover days.

1) Dying of Thirst

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You wake up fully clothed sleeping diagonally across the bed, a few moments of bliss pass as you balance precariously on the edge of sleep and consciousness. Then it hits you, thirst like you’ve never experienced it before. Your mouth as dry as the Sahara Desert, you let out a raspy whimper and claw your way out of bed. Forget using a glass, you drink directly from the tap, lapping noisily like some kind of man-beast.

2) Am I Still Drunk?

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Water-logged, you stumble back to bed. As you take in your surroundings you remark at how good you feel in this moment. Perhaps you won’t even have a hangover today.

With a burst of enthusiasm you decide to get up out of bed and start the day. As you stand up the room spins slightly and you realise that you haven’t avoided a hangover - you’re just still drunk.

3) Regret

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It’s been several hours now and the hangover has well and truly sunk in. Head pounding, you reach for your phone and spot the stamp of shame on the back of your hand; a smudged relic from whatever terrible club you went to last night.

Regret sinks in as you anxiously try to recall how drunk you were, who you spoke to and whether you made a total fool of yourself.

It is in this moment that you declare; “I am never drinking again”.

4) Optimism

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Just before you hit rock bottom, a glimmer of hope enters your mind as you try to reassure yourself. Surely you weren’t that bad. Everyone was really drunk, right?

5) Netflix

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You're feeling tired now, too tired to listen to your own anxious thoughts. You decide to turn on Netflix, let your mind go numb and lie in the same spot for the rest of the day.