19 Ridiculous Ikea Fights That Will Make You Want To Be Single Forever
You'll want to crawl onto your Hemnes and never get up.
1. The frozen meatball melee:
"The meatballs. I was literally trying to buy five dozen Swedish meatballs to bring home and my boyfriend kept on trying to stop me, and in a moment of anger, I told him, 'You realize I love these meatballs more than I love you right now.' We bought the meatballs."
2. The Sinnerlig standoff:
"My boyfriend at the time and I skipped into Ikea blissfully unaware of any danger ahead. We smugly high-fived when we both chose the same coffee table without argument or compromise. Then we got to the end where you pick up the boxes. He started picking up a box that was labelled 'dark wood.' So I said, 'No, we want the beech color.' Cue an intense standoff for about an hour over which color would suit our apartment better. We ended up with a grey one and a kilo of frozen meatballs."
3. The model apartment argument:
"We got in a fight over which tiny model apartment was more efficiently designed and which one would be better to live in. They aren't even real, but we were each standing our ground."
—Cortney Kingery-Ragan, Facebook
4. The Dvärgpalm dispute:
"I just wanted this really cheap pillow. It had a cute, simple design and was practical for the empty chair we had. He was being oddly rude and refused to put it in the cart. We started fighting and bringing up things that were completely unrelated but were bottled up. I ended up storming off but got lost in the store and started seeing him everywhere. Eventually we reconciled near the lamps. Our biggest fight was in one building."
5. The disturbance over drawer pulls:
"I cried about what drawer pull we should choose for the kitchen cabinets. We quarreled for more than an hour and then left without making a decision. Eventually, I found some online, purchased them, and installed while he was out! I’m never going back there again — until I need some hasevoortsz."
6. The baking spoon scuffle:
"It was about if a spoon could be used for cooking or baking. It’s a special plastic so of course it’s used for baking! We bought it just to settle the argument. The spoon got burnt when cooking, so a baking spoon it is!"
7. The Sniglar struggle:
"When I was pregnant, my husband and I went to Ikea to look at cribs and get nursery ideas. I felt like everything was either ugly, hideous, or geared towards a girl. Before we even made it out to the parking lot, I had broken down ugly-crying complete with snot and tears running down my face because all of the cribs were ugly and my baby would have to sleep in a Huggies box. My husband didn’t know what to do with me, but I do remember him getting me to the car as fast as he could."
8. The going-off-the-list altercation:
"I did all my research at home — model number, color, etc. — and walking through the store with my S.O. caused the fight. I was a lady on a mission, and he was dawdling and looking at every single damn thing. Then we fought because he wanted to get bunk beds. I MADE A LIST. WHY WERE WE DEVIATING FROM THE LIST?"
9. The twine tiff:
"We were finishing up our trip, and I was wheeling the basket with a busted wheel to the car. We were passing the twine dispenser right outside and I said, 'Get some twine for the trunk.' So my gorgeous boyfriend, bless his heart, tears off a foot of twine. I just had to look at him with a questioning blinking stare...I mean what is that going to do for anything? So I parked the cart and got my own few feet of twine to tie stuff down. Unfortunately, he knew the look I gave him said, 'You're an idiot!' and we proceeded to fight the whole way home."
10. The mac and cheese spat:
"My S.O. at the time threw a hissy fit because I didn’t wanna eat Ikea’s mac and cheese. He ~magically~ forgot that I’m lactose intolerant."
12. The glass-top drawer donnybrook:
"I haven’t ever gotten furniture with an S.O. before but once, I was looking for some drawers, and a couple was there, also looking for clothes drawers. You know how a lot of Ikea items have an optional glass top? The guy was full-on crying and yelling that they NEEDED the glass top because of dust and water stains. The woman was just trying to calm him down but he was very emotional. That scared me away from bringing anybody with me to Ikea."
13. The falling-out over swivel chairs:
"My husband was trying to convince me why we needed Ikea swivel chairs to replace the dining room chairs, and a lime green sofa. No, husband."
—Ty Wilson, Facebook
14. The Flöng fracas:
"My ex and I were buying curtains before a party to fancy up the place. We were in the curtain aisle picking out a couple of different fabrics and ended spending an hour fighting, our voices steadily rising, and everyone in the store having to scooch past us because damnit, neither of us was backing down. We each felt the other wasn’t respectful and almost got divorced right there in Ikea. We didn't, we just divorced a few years later. That set of curtains got left behind when we moved out of our house."
15. The stolen pencil shitstorm:
"I insisted we steal as many Ikea pencils as we could. He told me stealing was bad. We ended up not stealing them because a worker caught us talking about it."
16. The hangry hellscape:
"We fought because I was overwhelmed with the size of Ikea and thought we were getting lost. But in reality, I was just hangry. My boyfriend now makes sure I have snacks in my bag and regularly checks if we need to make a pit stop at the cafeteria."
—Kerry Ann, Facebook
18. The delivery dispute:
"We have never fought in Ikea, but we always have an argument when we get to the car. Before we leave, I ask if [the items] will fit in the car or if we need to organize delivery. Every time, it's, 'They will definitely fit. No need to measure. Yes I am sure.' And then every time, they don't quite fit."
—Tagen Rowe, Facebook
19. And the complete family contretemps:
"My family was helping me move into my college dorm and we realized we were missing a few items, so we decided to go to the Ikea right around the corner. Before going in, we were joking about the stereotype that Ikea is the couples battleground.
My parents, happily married for 25 years, couldn't make it even five minutes into the store without erupting into a fight. We walked into the store, my dad looked to the side where they have the kids daycare, and we kept walking to the escalator. Once at the top, he called us, furious that we had left him (we could literally see him right below us). That was at the very front of the Ikea, we then had to walk through the entire labyrinth of that store to get out. By the time we left, our entire family was in a bad mood."
—Lianna Chahin-Santiago, Facebook
Submissions have been lightly edited for length/clarity.