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    21 Reasons To Pay Attention To Badass Female Rapper, Brooke Candy

    Brooke Candy makes catchy-as-hell tracks about owning the word “slut” and doing the nasty with Satan. And that doesn't even begin to cover it.

    21. Her birth name really is Brooke Candy.

    I can’t make this shit up.

    20. She has a pot leaf tattooed on her ass...

    19. ...and a couch on her inner bicep.

    18. She stole the show in synth-gloom-pop queen Grimes’ video for “Genesis"...

    View this video on YouTube / Via

    17. ...where she romped around with her killing-est braids and whipped them back and forth like a boss.


    Eat your heart out, Willow Smith.

    16. Speaking of which, don’t even think about touching those babies because they cost more than your car.

    View this video on YouTube

    At least according to the fiercely infectious club banger, “Don’t Touch My Hair, Hoe.”

    15. She’s a stripper and she’s actually good at it.

    (Fun fact: her dad is the CFO of Hustler.)

    People may think women are being objectified in the strip club, but the men are equally objectified. Money and sex are two of the most powerful forces in the world — I may just be a sex object to you, but all you are to me is an ATM dude. If a man is willing to give me something so important to him — money — just for dancing and being exactly who I am, then I think he's the one being used.

    13. She's fearless when it comes to schooling her haters...

    View this video on YouTube

    12. ...especially about period blood.

    And precisely zero fucks were given that day.

    11. She's proud of her slut status.

    10. She pretty much rules the world in her anti-slut-shaming anthem, "Das Me"...

    View this video on YouTube / Via

    9. which she walks an Asian child down the streets of LA on a leash...

    8. ...and encourages endless amounts of tit jiggling and dick wiggling.

    7. I don't think she's ever NOT touching her boobs.

    6. Which of the following are songs by Brooke Candy?

    A. "Pussy Make the Rules"

    B. "Firey Dick"

    C. "I Wanna Fuck Right Now"

    Answer: D. All of the above. (Duh.)

    5. She's a total Tumblr-verse goddess.

    4. She’s multi-talented. She can rap with a face fulla lizards.

    3. Yeah, just watch "Everybody Does" already.

    View this video on YouTube / Via

    Creepers, gold body spray paint, lizards, oh my!

    2. Her. Style.

    Like a sexy-Tumblr-hoodrat-alien-robot babe-tron.

    1. This picture.

    Ride (the trendy seapunk wave) or die, Azealia.