By Jon Gabriel
Today, Americans awoke to the dystopian hellscape created by a government shutdown. Did we say shutdown? Okay, it’s more of a temporary rollback of non-essential services. Nonetheless, the government wants to assure you that anarchy is sweeping the land.
1. The White House Goes Dark
Always eager to avoid blame, President Obama passes the buck with some serious passive aggressiveness.
Someone forgot to mention that he wouldn’t talk to Congress to avoid the shutdown.
5. Health is outlawed
At least it’s only Health Data and nothing important. Oh wait, didn’t Obamacare start up today?
6. Weather or not?
Weather has been cancelled until further notice.
7. Every highway an autobahn
New game: Provoke National Highway Traffic Safety Administration bureaucrats to respond to you on Twitter! Does this mean speed limits won’t be enforced for the next few days?
8. No government selfies?
Argh — even the White House’s Instagram is out! How will I know if an intern had an especially elegant pumpkin spice cappuccino (the 1977 filter really brings out the orange).
At least one government worker isn’t silent today.
Follow Jon on Twitter at @ExJon.
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