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    Posted on Jan 23, 2015

    Kim Kardashian's 'Selfish' As A Poetry Book

    What if Kim published a book of poems instead of selfies?

    Everyone knows Kim K is dropping a book of selfies in May. What you may not know is the book was Kanye's idea! First, he had the nerve to replace her fur Uggs with a Furkini and now he's butting into her publishing dreams? Not cool. Sources speculate that Kim's original book idea was deeper than meets the thigh. Word is, she originally planned on releasing a collection of personal poems! Below are a few examples of the genius that could have been...

    The Contours of the Wind

    Chin, Nose, Cheeks

    shine bright,

    shed light

    On the universe.

    Lips, Eyes, Forehead

    Like a black hole,

    my soul

    sucks foundation

    Swallow Up a G String

    My thighs rise and fall

    with the tides

    Who are you to say

    baby, one more time?

    this slap, clap is mine

    (unless it's yours)

    No, really.

    Don't Cry For Me

    Kim, there are people that are dying

    She says

    I know that!

    I'm one of them.

    All of the Lights

    Flash?

    Flash, Flash.

    Yes?

    (flash)

    Here?

    FLASH!

    YES!

    FLASH! FLASH!

    No.

    flash?

    Go away!

    click

    Please, don't leave me!


    There's No Place Like Hoe

    Mama is my favorite

    Spice Girls song

    Mama, I love you,

    Mama my friend

    I sang that, too

    I'm the mom now, bitch

    Stop stealing my clothes.

    Can I Live? (If Living is Without You)

    Your love nourishes

    like egg whites

    Not too heavy,

    child of mine.

    Your Prada shoes

    my Givenchy hat

    in symmetry. you complete me

    So I crop you

    From my selfies

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