25 Reasons Why Mormon Men Are The Toughest SOBs On The Planet

Let’s be honest, being a Mormon man is not easy, he never gets credit… until now. Here are 25 facts that you know to be true with every fiber of your being.

1. Eagle Scout by Age 16 (if you want a driver’s license)

Get those merit badges

2. Her? Not until you put a ring on it, buddy.

Now THAT is strength.

3. And you can’t even swear, FRICK

flippin’ sons of biznatches

4. Survive Church Ball Brutality

Watch the elbows and short-man syndrome

5. Survive it well

Via Posted by Jared Allen, video of his cousin Cole

6. Go to Haiti for 2 years, learn French in 6 weeks, convince strangers to believe in Jesus.

Return home and be immediately normal.

7. Get rejected approximately 1,000 times a day


8. Come home with parasite, lose 50 lbs, still wins inter-mural championship

Jenny Craig worked for me

9. Get rejected 100,000 more times as summer salesman bro, get paid nothing

This seems oddly familiar…

10. Work 60 hours a week, then work 15 hours on church calling

You can sleep when you’re in spirit paradise

11. 7 kids under the age of 12, Drive Mormon Assault Vehicle

Celestial glory wagon

12. Raise those 7 kids on 10% less than the Joneses

But 10X the karma points

13. Six figures by 30, CEO by 40, retire by 50, go back to Haiti on a 3 year mission.

Basically, don’t be a 47 percenter. Being a dentist is also an accepted answer.

14. All this with nothing but ice cream and diet coke to drown your sorrows

Brain freeze wasted

15. Your Great, Great Grandpa provided for four wives, slacker

Yes dear, dear, dear, dear

16. You put up with magnets questions like a total champ

Toughness is patience

17. You’re sculpted like an ancient warrior

Seriously? Those arms are photoshopped!

18. Put two years of food on the table. NOW.

Potato pearls for daaaays

19. First ones to Hurricane Sandy

Where you at, FEMA

20. First ones to hurricane Katrina

Schooled FEMA, again

21. Transport your family 1,500 miles pulling a handcart like a boss

There’s a couple bags of flour in there to eat.

22. This guy

Porter Rockwell can stare through your soul

23. This guy

Brigham Young

24. This Guy

Merlin Olsen, NFL Hall of Fame

25. And this guy

Steve Young, 49ers

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