The 10 Most Ridiculous Moments From Turkey’s Election Season

Turkey’s general election on June 7 saw some incredible turnout, 86% of the electorate, and equally as incredible were some of the statements, controversies and campaigns that plagued the long election season. Oftentimes it's the embattled politicians spewing the most ridiculous of remarks who take center stage, but they're no match for the Turkish sense of humor.

1. Game of Golden Thrones

Via sillymillions.com

President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan’s $615 million, 1,150-room presidential palace has been a highly controversial subject for the Turkish public since its conception, so it’s no surprise there’s been speculations about where the president is dropping his golden nuggets. Continuing a trend of criticizing the president and palace for extreme lavishness, main-opposition Republican People’s Party (CHP) leader Kemal Kılıçdaroğlu claimed during a campaign speech that Erdoğan “uses the toilet” on a golden seat. Erdoğan, livid at such an attack and notorious for the number of lawsuits he’s filed against critics, is suing the opposition party leader for his remarks, and asked him whether he’d been cleaning toilets at the palace to be privy to such information. Sick burn.

2. How Many Moments of Silence

Via tickcounter.com

If the Turkish president believes one thing, it’s quantity over quality. He’s well-known for his endless speech-giving, speaking so loudly and for so long while campaigning that his voice once turned to a Mickey Mouse-like squeak during a speech in Van last year. But after a significant blow was dealt to the ruling Justice and Development Party (AKP), which no longer has the parliamentary majority as it received only 40.1% of the vote on Sunday, the president has remained oddly silent. To mark the occasion, a cheeky citizen has created a widely shared timer indicating how long Erdoğan has been off the air.

3. Halloween at the Presidential Palace

Doğan Media / Via todayszaman.com

Turkey's twitter-verse went into a gleeful frenzy when photos of a welcoming ceremony for Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas were released on Jan. 12. President Erdoğan could be seen walking down the stairs of the presidential palace flanked by what appeared to be costumed actors straight out of a low-budget film set in the Ottoman period. In reality, they were the presidential guard dressed in the "historic garb" of warriors from the 16 Turkic states. Twitter died with laughter, with photoshopped images of the ceremony making rounds, and a university dean querying "Do you know which Turkic state that man wearing a bathrobe represents?" Some rather touchy AKP supporters, however, protested the dean and issued death threats against him, forcing him to resign.

4. "Seditious" Gays/Journalists/Armenians

activestills.org / Via 972mag.com

The AKP's goal of securing another year of single-party rule was thwarted by the Peoples' Democratic Party (HDP) on Sunday, when the upstart pro-Kurdish party managed to win 12% of the vote, overpassing the 10% threshold required for it to enter Parliament. It is a victory made even sweeter for many, considering the dirty tactics used by those in opposition to the HDP. Surprise, surprise, President Erdoğan's mudslinging tactics reached incredible proportions on June 3 while speaking in the eastern province of Bingöl: "Their [the HDP's] biggest ally is Doğan Media. The Armenian lobby, homosexuals and those who believe in 'Alevism without Ali' – all these representatives of sedition are [the HDP's] benefactors." Geez, tell us how you really feel. After Sundays election, though, there are now a record number of Armenians, ethnic Kurds, Christians, women and members of the LGBT community set to enter Parliament.

5. Birth Control: Behind Coup Plots and Bomb Attacks

Turkish politicians are not inexperienced in making outlandish statements regarding women’s bodies, with abortion, laughing in public, being pregnant in public, and even cesarians somehow becoming hot topics at some point or another. Speaking at a wedding on Dec. 22, Erdoğan, who has long maintained that married couples should have at least three children, said: “For years, treason has been committed by means of the enforcement of birth control in this country. They aimed to dry up the bloodline of our nation.”

Cheers to the happy couple!

6. A Different Kind Of Back Door Policy

MILKY @grinch1969

TURKISH women turn their back in protest at abusive so called president Erdoğan #SırtımızıDönüyoruz #Akhırsızlar

09:26 AM - 03 Jun 2015

A few days before Sunday’s election scores of Turkish women took to social media to post photos of themselves turning their backs on Erdoğan. The campaign was inspired after a group of women in an eastern province turned their backs on the president’s campaign bus, spurring Erdoğan to quite horrifically say: “They all turned their well-known backs while we were passing by [an election] coordination center. Of course, my decency does not permit me to tell you what [this move] means.” Uhhh...woah, what?! I don’t think that means what you think it means, Mr. President.

7. For “New Turkey,” Back to the Future

Via hurriyetdailynews.com

Some parliamentary hopefuls took claims that Erodgan is trying to revive the Ottoman Sultanate a little too seriously, donning Ottoman-era clothing in their campaign ads. Despite their most blessed of intentions, none of these candidates were nominated to run on the AKP ticket, which is a tragedy really for social media users everywhere.

8. Muslims Were Columbusing America Centuries Before Columbus

On Nov. 15, while speaking at the first Latin American Muslim Leaders Religious Summit, Erdoğan said, “Muslims discovered America in 1178, not Christopher Columbus.” He also decided to take what is widely believed to be a metaphor written in Columbus’ diary quite literally, claiming that a mosque once stood on a hilltop in Cuba. Most scholars understand the diary entry to have been a reference to the landscape. However, in response to criticism from fellow Muslims, Erdoğan stood by his statement, saying that those who disagree “lack self-confidence.” Wonder how Leif Erikson feels about all this.

9. One Dumb, Blonde Joke

İbrahim Melih Gökçek @06melihgokcek

HADİ SARIŞIN CEVAP VERSENE... COME ON BLONDE ANSWER NOW...

12:09 AM - 29 Apr 2015

Melih Gökçek, AKP mayor of the capital Ankara and a notoriously prolific Twitter user, lashed out at US State Department spokeswoman Marie Harf on April 28, posting a photo from a pro-government news outlet that referred to her as a "dumb blonde" (aptal sarışın). He demanded that the "blonde" comment on the protests in Baltimore, berating the US for being hypocritical in its handling of protests at home while criticizing Turkey's management of the Gezi Park protests that sparked nationwide discontent in 2013.

10. Beware of Cat

ODTÜ Öğrencileri @odtuogrencileri

#kedilobisi plan yaparken...

10:54 AM - 02 Apr 2014

Istanbul's Chamber of Veterinary Surgeons issued a mock warning to cats on June 3, warning them not to interfere with power distribution units. Why issue such a silly decree to all the crazy and cool street cats of Turkey (also known as the Cat Lobby)? During the March 30 local elections last year, Energy Minister Taner Yıldız had claimed that suspicious power blackouts during the vote-counting process had occurred because a feral feline had gotten caught in a power unit. “I’m not joking, my friends,” he assured dubious listeners.

Riiiiight.

(Thumbnail: Tamer Abdelaal)