Things Only Pale Girls Understand...

Go Home Tan You're Drunk!

Beautiful sunrise? WRONG! Enemy rising!

We meet again... sun.

Beauty routine constists of SUNSCREEN.... LOTS OF SUNSCREEN.

SPF: 1,000,000,000

SPRAY TANS: Responsible for the ORANGE MASSACRE of countless white sheets.

On the other hand you might have a chance with Will Wonka.

Wearing White- More like wearing Camouflage.

Fair skin + white sand = NATURAL DEFENSE.

A blemish on Snow White skin... sticks out like the Matterhorn

17 layers of foundation should cover it!

Beach Attire: SAFTEY OVER STYLE!

Better bring an umbrella too. Seriously: JUST. DON'T. CHANCE. IT!

Tan lines.... ERRRRR... burn lines? I can literally SEE YOUR PAIN.

It hurts to breathe.

BUT HEY... ITS NOT ALL BAD BEING PALE....

Gwen Stefani rocks a sun safe look

She's and angel... a dewy fair skinned angel.

because who is the fairest of them all? YOU ARE! Own it.

Bronze skins not causing any step mother melt downs.

and glowy skin... so sexy.

look at those lips pop... POP POP POP.

So let your fair skin SHINE!

Tan bishess ain't got nothin on you!

AND BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF BECAUSE...

TAKE THAT FIRE BALL IN THE SKY!

And Jon Snow DIGS PALE GIRLS!

YUP.