19 Things I've Learned At 19

AKA life-lessons-from-a-confused-college-kid-that-are-actually-snippets-of-common-sense-everyone-should-have-mastered-in-elementary-school-but-oh-well

1. Live In The Present

It's easy to get stuck in the past. Listening to 90s radio on Spotify and reminiscing with friends about your crazy adventures from freshman year is one thing (and one thing I do often, let me tell ya.) Wallowing away in bed all day wishing you were still abroad, or still in high school, or still in a relationship takes away from living your current life. And why would you want to do that? The glory days have yet to come, friend. I promise.

2. Show Up

Woody Allen believes it, and so do I. 80% of success is showing up. It's so tempting to hide away indoors all day because for some reason, professors and bosses alike are sympathetic to college students and we get off the hook way easier than I ever assumed we would. Don't take advantage of that, because the real world isn't so forgiving. Show your face.

3. Adjust Your Attitude

Attitude really is everything. My cousin Nidhi always said smiling even when you don't feel like it is sure to improve your mood, and she's right. If anything, it's temporary entertainment just because you're sitting in your office smiling like an idiot while your boss wonders what's so funny about the company analytics. But in all honesty, your attitude does have the power to affect your life. No matter how sour the day can get, you're still in charge of how you feel.

4. Share Your Burden

From childhood, I was taught to be fiercely independent, with a "no one will ever help you" mentality. I realize now I was raised that way with the intention of becoming self-reliant, not completely blocked away from the world in a bubble where only I can hurt myself. Be it God, your family, friends or sorority sisters, there's nothing more valuable than a dependable support system. Take advantage of it. You're not supposed to do this whole "life" thing alone. Sometimes you just need to text the word "help" to someone and let them do exactly that.

5. Watch Your Health

If anything, just the inconvenience of running home to see a doctor is enough to throw your entire schedule out of whack and is a total hassle. Hospitals are not efficient places. Don't wait until you're sick before making the trek to the doc; preventative measures are key! I realize there's not always time to go exercise or eat a salad, but make the effort to check yourself or things could go poorly in the not-too-distant future.

6. Disconnect

I'm not writing this article because I was elected as the all-knowing-and-wise spokesperson for 19 year olds everywhere. I just happened to leave my phone at home, so instead of scrolling aimlessly through Instagram and Facebook, I'm attempting to do something worthwhile. The world is so much prettier when you aren't looking through a lens, and no amount of emojis can replicate the simple bond that is established from eye contact. I know your whole life is on your phone, but when you can, take a step back. And never, ever text in the presence of others. That's just rude.

7. Value All Of Your Friendships

You may not know it, but you could be someone's only friend. Even if you have fewer things in common, or you just don't click with them like you do the rest of your friends, don't take anyone's friendship for granted. They respect and trust you enough with their friendship, and they may need you more than you need them. That doesn't give you the right to downplay the importance of their problems or issues. Cut out toxic relationships, but don't cut out people you simply "don't have time for" just because they're not one of your closest friends. You never know what someone else is going through, so don't take the risk of ditching them to be left alone.

8. Call People

When you aren't occupied following suggestion #6, try and call instead of text. Long before JK Simmons ever won a Golden Globe or Oscar, I've preached this simple concept. Texting should be for saved for convenience - not to cop out of growing up and calling someone. It's actually pathetic how people get too "nervous" to speak on the phone. Being nervous wasn't an option 10 years ago - if you wanted to speak to someone, you called em. Whether it's your grandparents or that cutie in class, call. The person on the other end is sure to appreciate it.

9. Go Find Opportunities

Whoever came up with the concept of "waiting for opportunity to knock" is probably still waiting. The truth is, opportunity is not gonna come knocking on your door. It's roaming around the general neighborhood, but you need to get your act together, get out the door, and stalk it before it'll give you a chance. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people tell me I'm "lucky." Are you kidding? Luck is about 1% of what I do. The rest is hard work and chasing after opportunity. Do the same and you'll see the pay off.

10. Respect Yourself

YOU'RE TOTALLY A QUEEN (OR A KING!)

This was easily my biggest epiphany this year. There is no pressure for you to settle for someone less than what you deserve just so you have a boyfriend or girlfriend on your arm. Don't forgive the "small things" that really bother you in a vain effort of having someone to cuddle with (that's what roomies are for, anyway.)

Someone who digs you should call you, treat you, and tell you nice things. If they don't have the courage to do that, you've got better things to do, buddy. You are not a diva because you expect to be treated a certain way. As the wise Aronson twins once said, a guy doing one nice thing for you is not enough to justify him treating you poorly any other time. You deserve all good, all the time. Don't settle.

11. Challenge Yourself

Whether it's a full 40 meatless days of lent, or a weekend without Facebook, no one ever completed a challenge and felt unaccomplished. Life isn't supposed to be a total walk in the park. Challenge yourself once in awhile - you can only become better from it.

12. Be Thankful

I know I know, you hear it all the time, and sometimes you're so angry at the world that being thankful for anything seems like a waste of time. But it's so much easier to complain all the time than it is to appreciate the great things you have in your life. Is your awful commute to LA driving you crazy? Well, at least you have a car to get you there. Annoyed that you're stuck in such a boring class with an awful professor? You're still walking away with a grade that'll turn into a degree, while hundreds of thousands of kids your age will never even get the opportunity to step into a classroom. Wake up. It could always be worse. None of us are entitled to an easy, breezy, beautiful life. We really should be more grateful for the small things.

13. Don't Be Afraid To Seek Professional Help

If sharing your burden with friends/family/God isn't enough and something is still eating at you from within, seeing a therapist is not taboo. It doesn't mean you're broken, or crazy, or anything linked to the whole "you've lost your mind" thing. It means you're human and you need to walk through some stuff with another human who won't judge you for anything you tell em. Big whoop.

14. Stay Informed

Do what you need to do to stay informed - watching E!'s on the red carpet doesn't really count. It's a civic responsibility to be aware of what's going on in the world, but that doesn't mean you have to bore yourself to death watching the news on TV. Try signing up for theSkimm - five minutes of your day to get important news updates, so you have something else to talk about than the newest episode of the bachelor with your friends. Shows like The Daily Show and Colbert Report are also the ideal way to learn while laughing your educated toosh off.

15. Make Time For Others

Contrary to popular belief, you have time.

Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in expectations. Between work, internships, class, and extracurriculars, the idea of seeing my friends or talking to family is almost laughable. But I've learned that you HAVE to make time for the people who are important to you. i've seen too many friends get lost in their ambition and push people to the side because they need a career, need to be successful, need to live their life NOW. Dude, you're still in college. It sounds cheesy, but your job won't care about you half as much as living, breathing humans who reach out and care about you. Don't take them for granted, or they can use their energy elsewhere. Prioritize.

16. Apologize

I used to be too proud to apologize properly, but since entering college, I've learned the value of owning up to my mistakes and sincerely apologizing to people. It makes a world of difference, but only if it's sincere. A flippant "whoops, sorry" isn't any better than pretending nothing happened at all.

17. Embrace Your Tastes

Don't let someone shame you for having "bad taste" in food, music, TV, film, anything. WTF? Taste is subjective. It's called taste because it's how I like it. You like salty, I like sweet. You like Birdman, I like High School Musical. Either way, we're both still sitting on the couch instead of winning Oscars and Grammys, so shut up.

(Hi, J and B. Do your worst.)

18. Laugh Often

They say the funniest people are some of the most broken. I don't know who exactly "they" are, but they aren't wrong. The beauty of comedy is its ability to take any kind of emotion, including pain, and translate it into something more accessible - laughter. I'm currently in a funk that's got me feeling out of sorts, but instead of fixating on it every day and kinda moseying around with no purpose, I've taken the initiative to laugh more. It may not be a permanent cure, but a hearty, belly laugh every day makes you feel a little less 'bleh' for a moment, and that's worth shooting for.

19. Say Yes

Maybe not to all things (don't do drugs, kids) but 9 times out of 10, saying yes pays off. It's tempting to stick with your usual sched, but changing it up to do something just a little bit different with your friends ("Hey, wanna visit this weird science tech museum?" or "Hey, wanna take a break from studying to go grocery shopping with me?") should always be a welcome option.