22 Worries That Keep Acapella Singers Up At Night

Does anyone here actually know the tenor line?

1. Who's got the pitch pipe?

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Because if this little silver spherical thing goes missing, we're toast.

2. How does this song start again?

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They can't all start with "dum, dum dum daaa-dum" but right now, I haven't a clue.

3. Does my mouth look weird when I sing "Dmm-Tsk" for four minutes?

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Because Taylor Swift has instruments. But we don't. Sometimes we wonder if we look crazed while honouring the integrity of her sound.

4. Also, do I look ridiculous in this costume?

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We want to give you an authentic a cappella Victorian Christmas, but also we want to look good on Instagram and be able to move.

5. Will I get a solo?

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And more important, will the tone-deaf person who snuck into the group when numbers were low not get a solo?

6. Does our group name accurately convey what we're about?

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Because if it doesn't, it needs changing ASAP.

7. Is this selfie going to ruin our set?

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We totally want to pose for a picture with you. But if we go flat thanks to the unexpected choreo involved in moving mid-song, it's so not our fault.

8. Which set of jingle bells will best showcase our vocal arrangements?

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And also, will my date think I'm crazy for jingling all the way to a post-show drinks thing?

9. If I get this harmony wrong, how much will the choir master hate me?

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And will she believe me when I say "I'm sorry" with my eyes?

10. Can anyone actually hear us?

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There are six of us, 250 of them, and we're not mic'd. Just wondering if people are appreciating our 45 hours of rehearsal, or do we need subtitles?

11. Will they like our original song as much as they like covers of 1950s classics?

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Because we want to venture off-piste once in a while, while not losing our fans.

12. Will we understand our own notes and rehearsal videos?

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Because typically they say things like "Stay on bum da bums with Kate, then move on to sho-doops for three counts, then back on to ba dums."

13. Does our YouTube channel do us justice?

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We totally want to win any online star searches, so here's hoping our self-tapes make the grade.

14. If we do a Michael Jackson cover, will people think that we think we're Pentatonix?

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Also, if we do fewer than 20 songs in one mash-up, have we in some way failed?

15. What if I get put on alto?

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Then it's goodbye to the easy life of singing the tune and words, and hello to the hardship of crazy harmony lines I really could do without.

16. What if I have to give the start note and do the counts at the beginning of the song?

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I may have been here for years, but I've never really paid attention to that bit. Do they all start with 1, 2, 3?

17. Should we click or not click?

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And if we all click our fingers, do we need to choreograph this so everyone uses the same hand at the same time? Come to think of it, should we sway instead? And in which direction?

18. Is this good enough to win?

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Despite not actually being in a competition, we always feel like we're about to be judged, rated, and evicted from a contest if our harmonies don't cut it.

19. Will the wind, rain, and temperature be kind to us?

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It's -3°C out there and we're singing for three hours. No problem. But can we at least wear a faux-fur stole to protect our larynx from frostbite?

20. Will there be any scarily talented composers in the audience?

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Yes we'd love to sing "Into the Woods" a cappella for Stephen Sondheim. We'd just love a heads-up about his presence before we start.

21. If I practise my harmony line at work, will people know?

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Can they tell that I'm actually revising Sop 2 in a Madonna mash-up instead of silently updating Excel?

22. And finally, will casual clap-a-long-ers ruin our rhythm?

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Because keeping our rhythm when you're clapping out of time — and singing along with us but in a different key — can throw things out of kilter. A lot.