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22 Secrets Musical Theatre Actors Will Never Tell You

No, I can't go for a drink. I've got a temp job to get to in the morning.

1. We never know what day of the week it is.

2. In between scenes, we’re not going over lines or practising dance moves.

3. That hot leading man you’re swooning over? Probably gay.

4. Backstage can be a cold, lonely place...

5. ...but we're experts at turning Soviet-style dressing rooms into the cosiest corners EVER.

6. Everyone we work with has seen us quick-changing in our underwear.

7. We get really bad post-show blues.

8. We’re ever hopeful that every missed call is someone trying to offer us a job.

9. We dream of the day we're important enough to have two small plastic microphones coming out of our forehead.

10. That little black-and-white photo in the programme is way more than a casual selfie.

11. Sometimes we go to the gym and just sit in the steam room for an hour.

12. If our backstage track is disrupted, we freak out.

13. Everyone looks like they love one another on stage, but behind the scenes it's a different story.

14. Whenever we do our tax returns, we realise we make more money from teaching and temping than acting.

15. When you are surreptitiously texting in a dark theatre, we can see you.

16. We've been known to say our lines really fast to shave 13 vital minutes off a show.

17. Thursday is the best night to see a musical.

18. We do roughly nine auditions over three months to get one job.

19. We dream of being thrown on for the lead at a moment's notice.

20. We're definitely not vain, but we never ever tire of talking about The Business.

21. But sometimes we take a costume selfie and wonder, What am I doing with my life?

22. But every time the phone rings with a job offer, the feelings of elation flood back.