Tip #1: Don't leave.
Just don't. Specifically, don't leave your bed at all if you can help it. Pile on all of the blankets, sweaters, and snuggies that you own and settle in with some Netflix. Or a really huge book (recommended: the entire Harry Potter series. War and Peace. Every Jane Austin novel). Cats recommended for extra warmth and company but not required.
Tip #2: Try to live entirely off of hot cocoa.
It's possible and delicious. Add some popcorn for extra nourishment. Soup if you're feeling REALLY nutritious.
Tip #3: Long underwear. At least 12 pairs.
IF and ONLY IF you must leave (god be with you), LAYER. All of the layers. No less than three pairs of pants, and five pairs of socks at all times. About ten shirts under seven sweaters should do it. And all of this under your parka and snow pants, of course. Basically if you don't look 100 pounds heavier when you step into the slushy tundra, you're doing it wrong.
Tip #4: Live in denial.
The power of the mind is amazing. Pretend that instead of walking into a bone chilling, dirty, soggy snow mush world, your feet are bare and sinking into deliciously warm Bermuda sand. Imagine yourself wearing barely a bikini and sheer dress, leisurely sipping a pina colada instead of gulping burned coffee in a desperate attempt to warm your insides. The taxi that just splashed frozen grime all over your new jeans? You must be confused; that was merely a beautiful horse kicking up sea foam as it galloped past you on the beach. Aren't the tropics lovely??
Tip #5: Snuggle.
Body heat, people! Grab friends, lovers, whoever who find out in the cold and gather in whoever's bed has the most blankets. Together, we can beat this! Wine and/or hot toddies are optional.
*What happens with you and your cuddle buddies is up to you consenting adult rascals. Make good choices.
Good luck. And STAY. WARM.
YOU LIE, ELSA
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