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27 Things You'll Remember If You Graduated In 2012

"Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine."

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1. Everyone in your halls added you on Facebook before you showed up.

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And some of them even messaged you. Meaning you started getting asked, "What's your name? Which A-levels did you take? What are you studying?" before Freshers' Week even began.

2. And you soon realised that everyone else had this poster on their wall too.

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Along with photographs of their school friends, which eventually ended up on the floor once the Blu-Tack got too old.

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3. In first year, most of your pre-drinking centered around Chatroulette.

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Which meant you saw 100 dicks and 200 boobs every time you decided to go out.

4. And as soon as Spotify stopped being free, you basically just pre-drank to the background noise of adverts.

6. Followed by an ever screechier rendition of "Don't Stop Believing".

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You screamed every word of that damn song like it was the last word you'd ever scream on this earth.

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8. You survived on a diet of 9p Basics noodles and Basics vodka.

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And don't let the fact that I once saw Sainsbury's staff cleaning a spillage on the floor with Basics vodka put you off drinking more of it.

9. Unless you were feeling really flash. In which case you opted for a bottle of Glen's finest.

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In the history of drinking, no night out that started with Glen's ever ended well.

10. You've eaten a fair few Fray Bentos pies and Rustlers burgers in your time.

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And that's nothing to be ashamed of.

11. Even though your faculty had computers, no one used them because you all had your own laptops.

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And most of you had incredibly clunky white Macbooks that you carried around everywhere.

12. It didn't matter that you slept through all your 9ams, because most of your lecture notes went up online anyway.

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Your notes would never have been as good as the lecturer's notes anyway, so there was basically no point in turning up.

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13. You handed in most of your essays by email, but you had one old tutor who always insisted you handed in a printed copy.

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And you always left it to the last minute and found yourself rushing to drop it off in their pigeonhole.

14. Saturday nights were reserved for Take Me Out and Domino's pizza.

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You picked up a load of 2-4-1 vouchers in Freshers' Week, and you never looked back.

16. In a pre-WhatsApp world, your social life was organised via a series of Facebook group messages.

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Which meant you had to read through a million irrelevant messages before you got to the ones you actually needed to see.

17. Talking of Facebook, nothing in this world was funnier than changing your mate's Facebook status if they left their profile logged into your computer.

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omg lol

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24. You literally don't understand how people wrote essays before Wikipedia.

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But you're an absolute expert in reading a sentence, not understanding it, but being able to reword it and pass it off as your own anyway.

26. You found out who got firsts in their degrees by checking your Facebook timeline for humblebrags.

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"Omg so delighted to say that despite everything that's happened this year, I actually got the highest first in my whole year at university and probably the world!!!1!!! Couldn't have done it all without you guys!!!11!!!"

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