1. As soon as someone suggested going out before your 18th birthday, you started planning how to get a fake ID.
2. And as soon as you got hold of the ID, you'd rehearse your bouncer routine.
3. When the big night finally came around, you'd all gather at one of your friends' houses to get ready and drink Lambrini.
4. Or if you were lucky and their parents were out, you'd steal something from the drinks cabinet.
5. To get to town, you either had to get an awkward sober lift with your friend's parents, or you got the bus with a sharing bottle of Frosty Jack's.
6. You arrived at the nightclub unreasonably early because someone told you the bouncers might not get there until after 8pm.
7. You spent your time in the queue trying to work out what your fake star sign would be, in case the bouncer quizzed you.
8. If you didn't have enough fake IDs between you, half of you would promise to hand the ones they used through the smoking area as soon as they got in.
9. The club night you went to was probably called something like "Propaganda", and it probably took place on a Tuesday.
10. Every surface inside the club was horribly sticky.
11. If there was a club photographer, you ~subtly~ followed them around to make sure there would be photographic evidence of the fact you were in a nightclub.
12. You queued up for ages to get a £1 shot of Apple Sourz, and then you pretended to be drunk.
13. If you were a massive lad, you might have strawpedoed your WKD.
14. For the rest of the night you danced, in a circle, with your bags in the middle, trying simultaneously to attract hot boys and keep dance floor perverts away.
15. If one of you did get with someone, everyone else would be sure to photograph the event.
16. And you'd only realise the extreme height difference between the new couple when the picture surfaced online the next morning.
17. Whenever a banger came on, you shouted all the words of the song at your friends and directed your dance moves towards them.
18. At some point, one of your group would have an emotional breakdown in the girls' toilet.
19. And then the whole group would go out to the smoking area to console her.
20. You'd stay in the nightclub until 3am.
21. And then you'd get McDonald's chips before piling into a taxi back to your mate's house.
22. And when you got back, you'd whisper and do a comedy creep through the front door to make sure you didn't wake up their parents.
