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22 Things That Happen On Every 17-Year-Old's Night Out

Hand over the Apple Sourz.

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1. As soon as someone suggested going out before your 18th birthday, you started planning how to get a fake ID.

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There was either someone in your school year who could make them, or you borrowed one off a friend's older sibling.

2. And as soon as you got hold of the ID, you'd rehearse your bouncer routine.


"You really want to see this old thing? I've had it for at least five years," you'd say confidently, so they wouldn't suspect a thing.

3. When the big night finally came around, you'd all gather at one of your friends' houses to get ready and drink Lambrini.

The boys might have drunk Strongbow, but the girls kept it classy with a sparkling perry.

4. Or if you were lucky and their parents were out, you'd steal something from the drinks cabinet.

That nice wine was probably wasted on you.


5. To get to town, you either had to get an awkward sober lift with your friend's parents, or you got the bus with a sharing bottle of Frosty Jack's.

And you felt super grown-up on your way in.

6. You arrived at the nightclub unreasonably early because someone told you the bouncers might not get there until after 8pm.


Which meant you had a good few hours to kill between arriving at the club and someone who wasn't in your direct group of friends getting there.

7. You spent your time in the queue trying to work out what your fake star sign would be, in case the bouncer quizzed you.

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Even though no bouncer in the history of the world has ever asked what your star sign is.

8. If you didn't have enough fake IDs between you, half of you would promise to hand the ones they used through the smoking area as soon as they got in.


But let's be honest: The bouncers saw you doing this and they did not care.


9. The club night you went to was probably called something like "Propaganda", and it probably took place on a Tuesday.

You were less likely to get ID'd in the week.

11. If there was a club photographer, you ~subtly~ followed them around to make sure there would be photographic evidence of the fact you were in a nightclub.

12. You queued up for ages to get a £1 shot of Apple Sourz, and then you pretended to be drunk.

But tbf you were so excited to be in a nightclub that you were practically drunk anyway.


14. For the rest of the night you danced, in a circle, with your bags in the middle, trying simultaneously to attract hot boys and keep dance floor perverts away.

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This process involved craning your neck and sussing out who was worth moving the circle for.


19. And then the whole group would go out to the smoking area to console her.


Your reassuring cries of "Omg no way you're soooo pretty" were constantly interrupted by other underage drinkers trying to buy a cigarette off you.

21. And then you'd get McDonald's chips before piling into a taxi back to your mate's house.

You'd talk about how drunk you all were on the way home.