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    22 Things All Non-Baby People Will Relate To

    We love the fact that you love your baby. But we don't.

    1. There is nothing worse than getting on a train, settling down in your seat, and then realising there is a baby right behind you.

    2. Except sitting down near a baby on a plane. Because then you're trapped.

    3. Your biggest fear is being asked to hold a baby.

    Babies are very wriggly and easy to drop.

    4. But you're also very scared of being left alone in a room with one.


    You can't talk to it, because it won't understand you. So what will you do?

    5. At family events babies are usually the centre of attention, which doesn't make any sense because they never add anything to the conversation.

    6. And even though you know it's bad, you get jealous of them for stealing the limelight.

    Even if you have a lot of exciting news, people will focus their attention on the baby instead of you.

    7. Parents of babies think that describing their child's daily routine is very interesting.

    Warner Bros.

    But if you told them how well you're sleeping and what you have for breakfast every day, they'd be very bored.

    8. And they get angry if you refer to their baby as "it".


    Which is fair enough, but hard to remember.

    9. But nothing as is awkward as a baby speaking, its parents understanding what it said, and you having absolutely no idea what's going on.

    Understanding babies is very difficult, but somehow their parents always know.

    10. And you always feel like the baby you're hanging out with knows how uncomfortable it's making you.

    The CW

    They can sense it.

    11. For some reason, everyone seems to find it cute when babies do gross things like dribble.

    This literally makes no sense to you.

    12. They also find it sweet when babies insult you.


    "Ohhhh she's just tired."

    13. And no one seems to mind the fact that babies go from making noise at a normal volume to screaming very loudly with no warning.

    The CW

    A lot of people just carry on with their conversations, as though there wasn't a tiny screaming person in the room.

    14. And sometimes they do all those bad things in restaurants where you are trying to have a nice time.

    15. Or in cars in which you are a passenger.

    16. Other times, people change babies' nappies in front of you, like it's the most normal thing in the world.


    Which it isn't. It's very unpleasant.

    17. People often speak in very squeaky voices to babies, which is irritating.

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    18. Or they talk about themselves in the third person.


    "You're just like your aunty Tabatha! She loves a long nap too!"

    19. It's not necessarily the case that you hate all babies. You'd just rather avoid interacting with them.

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    You can enjoy looking at pictures of someone else's baby, for example.

    20. You can also appreciate how cute it is when parents are really proud of their babies. But that doesn't mean you want to hang out with them.

    21. It's frustrating when people tell you that when you're older you'll change your mind and want to have one.


    They have literally no way of knowing that.

    22. Because you know that, given the choice, you will always pick a dog over a baby.

    Dogs rule, babies drool.

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