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34 Things British Primary School Kids Did Before The Internet

"Do you really like butter?"

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1. Consulted a rubber whenever you had an important decision to make.

Never mind Google: Your rubber told you everything you needed to know.

2. Played the water ring game, even though you knew you'd never win.

Befroe Candy Crush, ~this~ was the most compelling game.
ripost.net

Befroe Candy Crush, ~this~ was the most compelling game.

3. Trolled your friends by giving them a hug, but secretly just stuck one of these bad boys on their back.

There was always one kid in your class who got like five stuck to them before they even noticed.
Twitter: @PrimarySklProbs

There was always one kid in your class who got like five stuck to them before they even noticed.

4. Played football outside, in the fresh air.

In the days before online FIFA, kicking round a battered ball was your form of entertainment.
Getty

In the days before online FIFA, kicking round a battered ball was your form of entertainment.

5. Competitively got Haribo-engaged to other people in your year.

Before Facebook engagements were a thing, it was all about Haribo.
Flickr: pigpogm

Before Facebook engagements were a thing, it was all about Haribo.

6. When your family finally got a computer, you had to go through this rigmarole every time you wanted to play Solitaire.

Plus, your computer took about 10 minutes to start up anyway.
Twitter: @RapidRundowns

Plus, your computer took about 10 minutes to start up anyway.

7. Watched this little chap make his way down a metal stick.

Before Twitter, there was only one little bird kids cared about.
aliexpress.com

Before Twitter, there was only one little bird kids cared about.

8. Played kiss chase in the playground, but not before you asked whoever's game it was whether you could play.

And unlike Tinder, you weren't allowed to join in if they already had enough players.
stream20.com

And unlike Tinder, you weren't allowed to join in if they already had enough players.

9. Counted down the minutes to 4:30pm on the Friday when the World Book Fair came to your school.

You knew you had to get in quick to get the book you wanted. It's not like you could have just downloaded it on your Kindle later.
Flickr: midnghtsdream / Creative Commons

You knew you had to get in quick to get the book you wanted. It's not like you could have just downloaded it on your Kindle later.

10. Before Words With Friends, you passed the time by playing squares with your classmates.

And felt incredibly smug if the person you were playing against didn't spot a three-walled box on their go.
Twitter: @jennieburling

And felt incredibly smug if the person you were playing against didn't spot a three-walled box on their go.

11. Covered your hands in PVA glue and felt intensely satisfied when you peeled it all off.

Even though you always got told off.
thumbpress.com

Even though you always got told off.

12. Without Wikipedia, you had to load up Encarta whenever you had research to do for homework.

You learnt the art of rewording something so you wouldn't get caught copying at a young age.
imgur.com

You learnt the art of rewording something so you wouldn't get caught copying at a young age.

13. Either that or you went to the library, where you were well-versed in the DDCS.

14. And if it was half term, you were allowed to take out up to 10 Goosebumps books.

Which you stayed up reading under the covers when your parents thought you were asleep.
movies.mxdwn.com

Which you stayed up reading under the covers when your parents thought you were asleep.

15. Before the days of Google, you had to buy magazines like Smash Hits and Top of the Pops so you could find out the lyrics to your favourite songs.

Plus, you could pull out the posters and stick them to your walls.
BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com

Plus, you could pull out the posters and stick them to your walls.

16. Found out the answers to all the meaningful questions like: Do you actually like butter?

The scandal.
Getty

The scandal.

17. And the kids who knew how to make these could straight-up tell your future.

18. But no game was as scarily accurate as MASH.

19. But not all games concerned the future. Some of them were just about who could make a convincing Eiffel Tower.

And then a crow's foot, obviously.
Twitter: @70s80s90skid

And then a crow's foot, obviously.

20. Stayed up late every Friday night to learn dance routines from Top of the Pops.

It's not like you could just watch it on iPlayer the next day.
BBC

It's not like you could just watch it on iPlayer the next day.

21. And then woke up early every Saturday, so you could watch SM:TV.

"How can you get up so early for this, but you never get up on time for school?!" — your parents.
ITV

"How can you get up so early for this, but you never get up on time for school?!" — your parents.

22. Played this even though, to this day, you don't know how to win.

The fun part was changing the pattern on the back of the cards anyway.
Twitter: @90sdecade

The fun part was changing the pattern on the back of the cards anyway.

23. But nothing was as fun as being allowed on Teletext to play this.

This was more addictive than 2048.
Channel 4 / Via Twitter: @UNILAD

This was more addictive than 2048.

24. Learnt the true meaning of pain when you crazy-braided your hair for too long.

Then had to ask your mum to comb out the knot you'd created.
Twitter: @PrimarySklProbs

Then had to ask your mum to comb out the knot you'd created.

25. Although jumping too late and getting your ankles whipped by a skipping role hurt like hell too.

26. You didn't have to check BBC Weather to find out the temperature, because you had one of these on your bedside table.

But the temperature literally never changed, so it wasn't that fun.
en.wikipedia.org

But the temperature literally never changed, so it wasn't that fun.

27. Without WhatsApp or SnapChat, you were forced to pass physical notes to your friends in class.

And you dreaded the time your teacher caught you and made you read it aloud to the class.
bagmanslogorrhea.blogspot.co.uk

And you dreaded the time your teacher caught you and made you read it aloud to the class.

28. Called your friends for hours every evening, even though you spent all day with them at school.

Which was always awkward because you had to make two minutes of small talk with their dad before they passed the phone over to your friend.
google.co.uk

Which was always awkward because you had to make two minutes of small talk with their dad before they passed the phone over to your friend.

29. Browsed the Argos catalogue every Christmas to work out what you were going to ask your nan for.

http://issuu.com/retromash/docs/argossuperstore-1999-springsummer
http://issuu.com/retromash/docs/argossuperstore-1999-springsummer

You could spend hours going through that thing.

30. Before Netflix, you got taken to Blockbuster to rent a film every time your parents went out for the evening and left you with a babysitter.

Even thought the film you actually wanted to see had already been taken out, so you ended up watching the same one over and over again.
Twitter: @90sdecade

Even thought the film you actually wanted to see had already been taken out, so you ended up watching the same one over and over again.

31. And because you couldn't look them up online, you had to get your local paper to find out when your local Odeon was showing the new Harry Potter film.

32. Borrowed your mum's camera if you went on a school trip, and then realised that your thumb was covering the lens in most of the pictures.

And you couldn't filter your photos on Instagram to make them look more flattering either.
katewashere.com

And you couldn't filter your photos on Instagram to make them look more flattering either.

33. Joined a "club" via a chain letter you got sent by a friend, and worried about telling strangers your address.

The danger!

34. And finally, you lost the game.

Every. damn. day.