34 Things British Primary School Kids Did Before The Internet
"Do you really like butter?"
1. Consulted a rubber whenever you had an important decision to make.
Never mind Google: Your rubber told you everything you needed to know.
2. Played the water ring game, even though you knew you'd never win.
3. Trolled your friends by giving them a hug, but secretly just stuck one of these bad boys on their back.
4. Played football outside, in the fresh air.
5. Competitively got Haribo-engaged to other people in your year.
6. When your family finally got a computer, you had to go through this rigmarole every time you wanted to play Solitaire.
7. Watched this little chap make his way down a metal stick.
8. Played kiss chase in the playground, but not before you asked whoever's game it was whether you could play.
9. Counted down the minutes to 4:30pm on the Friday when the World Book Fair came to your school.
10. Before Words With Friends, you passed the time by playing squares with your classmates.
11. Covered your hands in PVA glue and felt intensely satisfied when you peeled it all off.
12. Without Wikipedia, you had to load up Encarta whenever you had research to do for homework.
13. Either that or you went to the library, where you were well-versed in the DDCS.
14. And if it was half term, you were allowed to take out up to 10 Goosebumps books.
15. Before the days of Google, you had to buy magazines like Smash Hits and Top of the Pops so you could find out the lyrics to your favourite songs.
16. Found out the answers to all the meaningful questions like: Do you actually like butter?
17. And the kids who knew how to make these could straight-up tell your future.
18. But no game was as scarily accurate as MASH.
19. But not all games concerned the future. Some of them were just about who could make a convincing Eiffel Tower.
20. Stayed up late every Friday night to learn dance routines from Top of the Pops.
21. And then woke up early every Saturday, so you could watch SM:TV.
22. Played this even though, to this day, you don't know how to win.
23. But nothing was as fun as being allowed on Teletext to play this.
24. Learnt the true meaning of pain when you crazy-braided your hair for too long.
25. Although jumping too late and getting your ankles whipped by a skipping role hurt like hell too.
26. You didn't have to check BBC Weather to find out the temperature, because you had one of these on your bedside table.
27. Without WhatsApp or SnapChat, you were forced to pass physical notes to your friends in class.
28. Called your friends for hours every evening, even though you spent all day with them at school.
29. Browsed the Argos catalogue every Christmas to work out what you were going to ask your nan for.
You could spend hours going through that thing.