50 Signs You Went To Cambridge
You spent more time at Cindies than in lectures but hey, at least you had fun.
You got off to a bad start when you turned up to your matriculation photo drunk.
You soon learnt that you'd rather be at Oxford than St John's.
It took you the better part of a week to recover from your drinking society initiations.
You cried when you heard the Mahal closed.
Although swaps at the Curry King were almost as good.
And a night at the Curry King was always followed by a hangover breakfast at Tatties.
You never quite made it up the hill to Girton.
And you definitely never made it to Homerton.
Your home friends never understood why your terms were called Michaelmas, Lent and Easter.
You spent every bop avoiding stinky boatie chat.
But you did get enthusiastic about rowing once a year.
You lived on a diet of Sainsbury's Basics.
You cycled everywhere.
You became best friends with your bedder.
And your porters.
You learnt to shorten every word.
Hermes taught you what "expunge" means.
You understood that getting pennied required immediate action.
As did getting five pennied.
But engineer pennies were the real killer.
In between all of the fun, though, you did actually do some work.
Unless you were a LandEc.
In fact, you did so much work that your DoS became your mate.
Although you're certain he once caught you on a walk of shame.
You perfected the art of pulling an all-nighter.
But hey, at least your libraries were really pretty.
Not the UL, though. That's one ugly building.
Deep down, you were a nerd. Even your pre lash was nerdy.
You couldn't go to the Maypole without seeing everyone you knew.
And you always headed to the ADC bar afterwards.
You never understood why the Cindies DJ didn't let a track play for more than 30 seconds.
Or why Life's ceilings dripped.
Or what was with the incense at Fez.
You knew Wednesday nights were when the Blue Tac came out to play.
There was a picture of you and Vas on the wall at Gardies.
You once braved a townie night out at Danger Spoons. And vowed never to do it again.
You spent at least one night in A&E at Addenbrooke's.
Trolling the Tab's comments board was your favourite method of procrastination.
You watched some incredible speakers debate at the Union. And Katie Price.
You literally never met an ASNAC.
Dodging the Daily Mail's paps was a Caesarean Sunday tradition.
And a Suicide Sunday one.
You got sprayed with champagne when you finished your exams. Except Prosecco was only £4, so you used that instead.
May Week was undoubtedly the best week of the year.
And punting to Granchester for breakfast was the best way to spend the next morning.
You didn't enter Senate House until your graduation.
And you'll never achieve as much as your alumni.
But at least you get a free Masters after a few years.
And you're pretty sure you couldn't have gone to university in a more beautiful place.
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